I cheated on my high school girlfriend 3 times. I never told her about it but I did. It wasn't emotional it was just purely physical but it felt good in the moment. I then became obsessed about her not doing the same to me. She left me for that exact reason. I became obsessive and jealous in her eyes. The break up has hit me like a train. In class I haven't been able to concentrate as well , due to thinking about our memories and thinking about her with other guys having sex. I drunk texted her the whole you ripped my heart out and later on she contacted me which ended with me texting her I don't care anymore. I've cut all contact with her since. Logically I've realized we aren't good for each other but emotionally I'm incredibly attached to her. She was my first long term relationship. I've took it upon myself to try and understand my emotions and find out why I'm feeling like this. Why do I still feel for her?, why do I care soo much about her?, why do I cyberstalk her from time to time? I want to forget about her. I'm a freshman in college and I do have a lot on my hands. I run track and I go out most weekends but I can't stop thinking about her and us. She's made it clear that she doesn't want to date me anymore. My friend who has her on snapchat claims she's been fooling around with a lot of guys. I haven't had sex with anyone since the last time I cheated on her with another girl a couple of weeks ago.