I moved out but I still am in love with him?

I am still in love with my best friend, we both moved out our place we shared, he’s moved to West Virginia and I’ve moved to New York. I’ve been so depressed since the Change and we talk less and less, he has a girlfriend now and all I hear from out friends is happy things about them. And when me and him do speak it’s mostly about her, my question is how do I stop being madly in love with this man and move on with my life?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Here's what you'll learn as you experience more serious relationships and you discover the freedoms you can create for yourself when you're not foolishly chasing your feelings like a teenager...

    Your feelings don't matter.

    Well maybe that's not exactly right.

    It's PERFECTLY OKAY to love someone without having to OWN them.

    I can love cocaine, heroin and booze while still being adult enough to recognize that these are harmful substances.

    You don't need to stop loving him to move on. That's like a guy thinking that if he get's married he'll suddenly stop wanting to have sex with all the hot women he meets.

    Your feelings are just feelings. They're natural and normal.

    But feelings aren't facts.

    You don't need to be with someone just because you love them, that's silly.

    This situation has a cure exactly like someone who has anxiety... accept how you feel and act anyways.

    Do what's right for your heart and soul, and that's listening to your head. Your head knows what you SHOULD be doing, while your heart is going to just chase any random feelings it has, like a cat chasing a string.

    Allow your heart to love him, while also accepting the way things are and letting go.

    You have to start loving yourself now, and making your life choices for YOU. Sitting around thinking about him is mental masterbation and it's harmful. Allowing yourself to think about him constantly is harmful.

    Learn to love yourself enough to accept how you feel, while also taking responsibility for your thoughts and your actions.

    You CAN control what you think about, when you make your focus your priority.

    Find something new worth focusing on and remind yourself of this new focus each time you catch yourself pondering What Ifs and What Could Have Beens.

    I hope this helps,
    ~ Robby

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    • Thank you soo much, really I needed this I’ve been honestly having a nervous breakdown 😔 but thank you again

    • Breakdowns tend to mean we're ignoring our feelings and trying to fight them... the easiest thing to speed recovery is to purposely feel those feelings as intensely as possible. You know.. like a pity party alone with pizza on a Friday night. Accept the shitty feelings, the shitty situation, and the shitty everything. Cry, sob, sleep, what ever.

      But don't allow yourself to keep doing it over and over. Do it once when it happens, get it all out, and recover. If you get sad again later, sit yourself down and cry again or what ever.

      Then reconnect with friends, family, pets, and passions.

      Sit and work out how you think and feel. Accept it. Then take back your power by owning your responsibility for your future happy self. Get up and go get some shit done.

      Then you'll feel better. :)

  • I know the feeling. I got kicked out of Austin and moved back home, San Antonio. Find all the pictures, etc of your ex and delete. Stop calling him. Get rid of ex's number. Play your real music not your love ex stop. Get out there and be stronger. Get a new hobby for bit.

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    • I guess it just hurts the most because, I feel like he doesn’t really miss me at all, and that the only relationship he’s worried about is the one with his girlfriend.

    • true true. Take care, Cupcaketv

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