I think I love a girl, but she already has a boyfriend. How do I get over her, even though I have to see her almost every day?

I REALLY like a girl. I have literally never harbored such intense romantic feelings for a girl before, and it's driving me absolutely mad.

I work with her in a research lab, where we run experiments and co-author scientific articles together. Given the nature of our work, we spend lots and lots of time together. After getting to really know her, I fell for her; I fell for her hard.

Whenever I see her, I feel an intense state of euphoria. I am attracted to essentially everything about her: I love her immense intelligence. I love her laugh. I love her not-quite-perfect English (she's Chinese). I love her shyness. I love the conversations we hold. I could go on all day about how amazing she is.

However, during one conversation we had, she mentioned that she has a boyfriend back in China. Naturally, my heart sank like a rock after that. I know that I really have to get over her, but I'm finding it incredibly difficult. It's been roughly three months since she told me about her boyfriend, but I still can't shake my romantic feelings for her.

It really doesn't help that I see her nearly every day in the lab, and that we hang out outside of work fairly often. We are pretty good friends, and a mutual colleague of ours told me that she talks about me a lot when I'm not there.

I want so badly to confess my feelings to her, but I know it'll be a futile effort that can only end in disaster.

How do I get over her already?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Long relationship distance never last so she will probably break up with her boyfriend. Try to talk less with her everyday and when she asks you why, tell her the truth. I think that's a good way of telling her because she knows that you know about her boyfriend so it won't look inappropriate if you confess. Or you could just confess. I think she likes you tho.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to stop putting her on a pedestal. There's tons of great girls out there. There's nothing unique about her.

    Have some respect in yourself. She has a boyfriend, therefore she probably doesn't feel the same way about you. Therefore you should not spend time caring about someone who probably isn't caring about you. It's not fair on you and you should treat your time and your care with more respect.

    Just treat her as you would anyone else, a friend at most.

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