Do I stay or should I GO?!?!

Long story short, I was with one guy "c" for almost a year, he decided he wanted to play "God" in my life and even though I did everything in my power to make him happy, it wasn't good enough. So eventually, he got so bad, I moved 10 hours north to where I am originally from and where all my family is. While there, I met A WONDERFUL person "CJ". I immediately fell head over heals for this guy. Come to find out there was a whole lot going on with him when we got together that I was lied about (wife, crazy family, potential kids ETC...) but I was so crazy about him, I stuck around... Eventually, C started contacting me, telling me just how much he changed how he realized what he had and would do ANYTHING to get me back.. Now mind you, CJ and I fight like cats and dogs, probably cause I snap at the drop of a hat, but after everything he lied to me about in the beginning, it's hard not to. But this last stupid little fight CJ and I had, I decided to pack my car and high tale it 10 hours south! and 2 days into I regret it. Not cause my ex C has done anything wrong, but because I am absolutely head over heals for CJ. But if he finds out about what I did (coming 10 hours south to C) I am so afraid he will completely disown me! But I can't not tell him! And on the other side, it's going to absolutely DEVASTATE C! I love him, I'm not just in love anymore! How do I tell CJ and get him to trust me again? or is all hope lost? Remember, he (CJ) lied to me about a whole ordeal of things in the beginning. I forgave him, but I don't Think he'll forgive me. Do I stay put and work it out with C or tell CJ and hope for the best? Please help!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Neither. You need to get right with yourself first. You seem to be way too dependent on having a guy in tour life. You need to gain some perspective and maturity before being in another relationship. Normal people don't runaway every time something isn't going right in a relationship. You've done it twice. One guy wants to control your life, the other lies about his to you, but you're still willing to be with them? That's just not right.

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    • I've thought about doing that. Just going it alone. But the truth is, is I really care about one.. I know it's not right, either situation, but feelings are a big thing to just walk away from and so is all the effort I put in in both of them. I can't get any of that back. huff. I don't like saying I am being controlled by either of them, because ultimately I make my decisions, but part of me feels as if I am just a puppet.

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    • I get it it. You definitely need to get away from both of them. Now there's kids in the picture. Regardless whether they're his or not, he's been there raising them. Leave that family alone. Don't let him fool you again. He will lie to you again. Count on it. Don't use the other guy as your fallback. You need to start fresh, on your own.

    • Thank you! I really do appreciate it. It's different thinking something and then hearing it out loud! Guess I got some work to do?

What Girls Said 1

  • I would put work in with "C" if I were you. He is trying to become the man you need and that is quite a big thing.

    I would get away from "CJ" whether you trying to work things out with "C" or not. He lied to you and he will again as soon as it is convenient. If he has a wife (ex-wife?) that he has a terrible relationship with, and family he doesn't have a good relationship with, and potential kids that should give you a heads up that he does not know how to manage relationships. He will end up not only breaking your heart, but tearing your life apart. I understand he must be very handsome, smart, funny, etc. to have landed you in the first place. But none of those things will matter when he starts making bad decisions that affect your life. Save yourself the trouble.

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    • C really is trying to change. After me being the one working for so long and putting up with all his antics, and him saying all the right things he said to get me to leave, (he said he treated me the way he did to get me to leave to grow up) I still cared about him. But I just fell out of love with him. I will forever care for him, but I feel I am toying with his emotions just as much as mine. and that's not fair... And CJ, well he lies, but the truth always comes out.... when I find it.

    • Really, go for "C"... don't go for "C"... I don't care. "CJ" really is a bad idea. Some combination of the following are in your future if you do: getting knocked up, taken for granted, ignored, put down, lied to, manipulated into giving up thing that matter to you, bending over backwards for things that matter to him, never getting your needs met unless he's horny, being put down, etc, etc, etc. He has not taken responsibility for the mistakes he has made, he will not be responsible with you.

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