Would you tell her if he was cheating?

- leiSo, I am just wondering what other people would do. There is a group of friends which my best friend and myself sort of got into when we started dating two of the members in the group. My boyfriend ended up moving, so I was kind of pushed out, only invited anywhere when my best friend invited me. She went out of town for a couple weeks and I found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. He was even using her car and her house to do it. I sort of hinted around about it to him, and he claimed that my friend knew everything, so it wasn't a big deal. When I talked to my friend, I honestly thought she knew, and I just said that was really open minded of her since I didn't even know they had officially broken up. Well, apparently they hadn't broken up, and she didn't know any of it. They guy went crazy when he found out I told her, bad mouthed me to everyone (which made the people who weren't sure about me anyway not want to even talk to me). They ended up breaking up, and he started dating the other girl. He had cheated on the other girl numerous times that I knew about. No one told the new girl that my friend and him were dating when they meet, no one told the new girl that he was cheating on her almost every weekend, she thought he was the most faithful honest guy ever.

They finally decided to get married, sort of a shot gun marriage, which he claims he regrets. Anyway, he has gone out on his new wife (only been married a couple of months) at least half of a dozen times that I know about. The sad thing is that EVERYONE knows that he cheats on her. He isn't shy about it, because in their group, they watch each others' backs. No one in the group is going to tell the wife. Is it better she lives happily in the dark, or miserably in the light?

What would you do?

(Would it make a difference if you didn't think she would leave him after you told her because her culture and religion makes it so staying with your husband is a priority, and that will just make her life worse?)
  • Not tell her, it is none of your business
    Vote A
  • Anonymously tell her - of course, she probably won't believe it, but she might become more observant.
    Vote B
  • Tell her straight to her face, even though she doesn't know you and has no reason to believe you.
    Vote C
  • Go through extra effort to get proof and accuse him in front of her
    Vote D
  • Other - tell me
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
She isn't pregnant by the way. :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, it's not your fault. At least you have the courage to do what is right. This guy is a sleazebag and a f***ing pussy. If he was man enough, he wouldn't have married the girl. He probably got her pregnaut since he's probably a dumb ass as well. know there are some religions that are strict about marriages. However, how religious can this girl be if she slept with the guy? If she's willing to sleep with the guy before marriage, why wouldn't she leave him? Tell her anonymously and see what happens.

    • I stand corrected about the pregnant comment, but he's a dumb ass anyway.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You need to tell her. Wouldn't you want to know if it was you? God only knows what types of diseases he's bringing home to her. By shotgun wedding, I assume you mean she's pregnant. If he gives her, let's say herpes, there is a high likelihood that the mother will pass that lovely gift onto the child when it is born.

    Do the right thing and shut this azzhole down.

    • She isn't pregnant :) They wanted to live together, and her family wouldn't approve unless they were married, so, they got married.

      What if you knew she wouldn't leave him? If telling her only made her life worse because now she has to be in a marriage where she knows the guy she is with cheats on her.

    • Well, I don't think it really matters as much what she does with information as much as it matters that she has the information. She's a big girl, she can make up her own mind. But, in order to make up her mind, she needs all of the info.

What Girls Said 1

  • She really should know.

    I was cheated on in a realtionship with a man I thought I would marry, we broke up and he started dating the girl he cheated with.

    I know for a FACT that he has cheated on her, and I've told her even though I absolutly hate her, but she says she doesn't believe me, of course.

    So whether she believes it or not, or stays or goes, she really does need to know the truth. Perhaps they can even work it out! See a marriage counseler. She needs to know.

    • In their culture, they don't really "work things out." The man is more of the dominant one in the household, which is why he feels he should do what he wants. She may tell him she doesn't approve, but it wouldn't stop him, and she wouldn't leave him. I am just worried that if she knows, she won't leave him, and her happy life that she gave up everything for will just be a gloomy existence, all because I wanted to get it off my conscience.

    • Well in all honesty, I wouldn't call her life right now happy. I would say she is a laughing stock. Everyone knows except her, that's just horrible! I feel terrible for her.

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