Finding it hard to get over ex, eventho he's a jerk?

So I was in my first real relationship for about 9 months with someone i was completely in love with. He did everything to make me feel like the one, even talked about getting married etc.
Anyways, everything was going fine until he had to move to across the world for school with his family. We were gonna do long distance until he could move back, wanted to remain committed and stuff.
Long story short, i was totally in love with him and ready to support him no matter what but found out a day after he left that he was cheating on his girlfriend of about 4 years with me lol. I also lost my virginity to him and he knew it was a huge thing for me.. i feel used and heartbroken.

After everything blew up, he threatened me to not tell anyone and told me that his relationship with his girlfriend was forced by his parents and he couldn't get out of it (Lol found out he lied about this and that he himself introduced his girlfriend to his parents).
Right after this, i ended up very physically sick and had multiple dr visits, was told to go for psychotherapy and was prescribed drugs. it was just very hard and he pushed me so far down, even though he always told me he'd never ever hurt me so it's the the most traumatic thing i've ever been through (esp bc i lost my virginity to him and it was very important to me)

ANYWAYS fastforward 2 months, I'm trying to get over him and i regret everything but i can't change the past and im miserable. I try so hard to stay positive and im fine when im out but as soon as i have any down time for myself, i instantly break down and the pain returns...

Everythng reminds me of him, the songs we listened to, movies, shows, places we went to, dates etc
I'm finding it really hard to move on, i didn't get closure and he blocked me too. i feel betrayed and i know i shouldn't give a crap but i can't help feeling this way.

Sorry this was long i just had to get it out. Any help? I haven't got closure either i dont know what i want to do


Most Helpful Girl

  • oh gosh; I don't know you but I honestly feel your pain, I really do. It must be so hard for you to find out all of this, and in all this time as well. It sounds to me like you are better off without this guy, I know it is easier said than done and you were completely in love with him, but what he has done to you is wrong on so many different levels. Sometimes certain people don't see how much they can physically and mentally hurt one person, and if that is the case, then they are definitely not worth your time or effort.
    If you are looking for ways to get over your ex, I found that when I went through something similar, I threw myself into being around my family, friends and people I knew appreciated me. I kept myself busy most days and even threw myself into fitness; that helped me massively.
    Unfortunately, as much as some of us would like closure, we sometimes don't get it because they other person can be selfish, and again, if thats the case, they're not worth it.
    My lovely, you should focus on yourself from now on, please don't be making yourself ill, you want to look after yourself and be the best version of you. If he blocked you, that is guilty coming from his part because he knows full well that he has done wrong and been a complete idiot. I promise you, you can do so much better and someone will come along one day, that will be perfect for you and you'll understand why it didn't work out with anyone else.
    Take care of yourself & Keep Smiling :) x

    • Reading this made me cry I don't know why lol. But thank you for the kind words. I will def try to focus on myself. This actually helped, thanks a lot :)

    • Oh lovely; I am so sorry it made you cry, those weren't my intentions at all. I hope you do find all the happiness in the world, you deserve to have someone treat you how you deserve to be treated, stay strong! x

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What Guys Said 1

  • 2 month it's pretty early to get him out of your mind, even if 9 month isn't a long period, you fell in love with him and lived greats moments with.
    What you're living touch me deeply, you'll probably say that, what I'll say it's useless but listen
    Only time will help you, you can find someone else but that person will not replace your lost, that's the hard knock life
    You will stand up stronger of this, learn about that experience, use it to become a stronge women ✌️
    Sorry if there is some confusing sentences or words
    Love from France

    • That's true, i do need to give myself more time.. it's definitely a learning experience. Thank you

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