I'm crazy about a married man?

I know I'm going to get a lot of backlash here but here goes... I'm absolutely head over heels with a married man, and I too am married. He feels the same way. We both work together and although we've tried to keep our distance, we just keep being drawn to each other and it's an overpowering feeling. This has been going on now for over 7 months. I'm not unhappy in my marriage, at least I don't think so. Yet I want nothing more than to be with the other man. Basically I want my cake and to eat it. I'm not here looking for someone to say it's ok, I know it's not ok. I just don't know what to do now. I know that pursing this is so wrong and is the road to nowhere. I need a slap! And also to hear from people that have maybe been here before. I love my husband. I wouldn't say I love the other man, it's more lust. I thought it would have just fizzled out by now.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, no one has right to give you backlash. And second... if you dont like what you're doing just dont. Idont mean like in sense it doesn't feels good, cause i know it does.. but try to understand the whole situation, not just from your angle. Try to put things in perspective and make some space, to see what an how to go next step. Someone will be hurt thats for sure (probably), but how much and in what way that is not sure and its controllable.
    You mentioned you need a slap.

    Phisical slap won't work.
    As i said, try to put things in perspective, like why you do it, whats most important to you, what do you see in future... and try to be sensible and give yourself time.
    It actually is ok because you are living woman, and quite normal to feel what you feel, but you're right, j agree with you that situation is not ok, and you realising that is the first "slap" you're on a good way...

    Try to realise what you have, and it will fall from your hands, you will loose desire and will to go on when you realise what you REALLY have in your hands. You dont need any effort at all, just realisation. Its like holding a paper that is written on it with a pen 1000$ and you are protecting it with your life, till you realise its not real dollar, but peace of ordinary paper... you just naturally stop to care...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Start looking for other jobs and remove yourself from the situation. Staying, when both of you have obviously communicated these feelings and crossed that boundary shows you canโ€™t be trusted, so change it

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 21

  • Its a natural thing to experience temptation, but its how we act that really determines our character. Sounds like there is something that is causing you to not look at your husband like that, which could be boredom or whatnot. But don't forget your wedding vows and remember that cheating on your husband is the worst form of selfishness. We all want what we can't have, and the sad thing is usually when we finally get it, it turns out to be a huge disappointment that can really ruin lot of lives, including your own. Its not worth it. Its ok to enjoy the flattery, but never let your emotions get in the way of reality.

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  • These things happen, it is normal but don't act on it while you are married. I'd say you are still feeling this way after 7 months because you guys keep trowing wood on the fire, don't talk to each other and don't see each other. Or else move away to another workplace/job.

    I would seriously think about divorcing if I found out my wife would feel something like that for someone else and even had the convo about it with him.

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  • Your marriage is already over. if you have thought about the other man a lot. even if you are thinking about to get together with him or not, your marriage is already over. because if you really loved your current husband, you wouldn't fall for any other man

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  • I have been to more complicated situation. I was stuck in a situation, where I had to marry someone, for my family's sake. I used to love that girl. But due to some unexpected turn of events, I lost the respect for her and later trust. I on the other hand was interacting with a girl and she was interested in me and I still remember the look in her face, when she said, I'm about to get married. We never flirted with each other. Rather spent some good time to know each other, in spite of knowing it's not gonna lead to anything, even though we both wanted to. She cried and hugged me the day she left the company for another job. But we didn utter a word to cross the line.
    If you feel you love your husband and this one is nothing but lust, then please don go ahead. But also don blame yourself for being in this position. We all are human. Funny thing about mind is , it doean have a boundary, doesn have a control. It wonders in it's own rhythm.
    Everyone in this world has something to offer us than someone else cann't. In this guy you may have found a possibility to have those, that you never found in your husband. So you are craving for it. We all do. Nobody in this world is so good as human, that they don think about someone else out of their relationship. So, just be cool and don blame yourself. But don go behind your husband's back.

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  • Don't do anything to strain your marriage. Please. Your husband loves you and so do you. Crushes like this come and go, but you gotta control your lust.

    I also feel the same way with girls of my age. Although I am not married, nor I am in a relationship, I have to control the lust that I feel all the time.

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  • When it ends, it's not going to end well. Too many bodies are gonna get hurt in this cross fire. Just be prepared for it.

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  • That is what masterbation on is for. Like me I lust over 2 of my friends wives, but I can't have them, and never will. So I just jerk off to the thought.

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  • I'm going pretty nuts over a married woman I just met. Those eyes of hers are something else. The jewellery she wears, the way she dresses, her perfume. She's intoxicating and a proper lady, not like the rats you get skulking around nowadays. Rare as a diamond a proper women like her these days. Her husband's a lucky bastard

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    • Would you ever act on it? Does she know you feel this way?

    • I dunno but she was meeting me early yesterday morning and she turned up well turned out with jewellery on, lovely perfume and a sheer see through top. She looked delicious. She was sitting right in front of me and I was getting light headed. I wouldn't fuck with a married woman but I like women and I'm not ashamed of it. I just wish she was single. I'll admire from a distance

  • Go ahead an fuck him get it out of your system

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    • Do you think it'd help?

    • Show All
    • Lol sounds like a sex thing x

    • How is your sex life just now, pm me if u like x

  • Are you stupid
    You will ruin another women's life.

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  • So you have already ruined four lives, your husband's, your lover's, his wife's and your's. So without doing further damage I guess you should change your job and get out of this mess. Cause if you remain in in this job, you and your lover will not be able to get your hand's of each other.

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  • Maybe try to get a group thing going. Your husband, his wife and you 2. Then you wouldn't feel so guilty

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  • Honestly I don't get how people can be like this. When I'm in a relationship I have eyes for no one else despite my exes thinking otherwise. How does this happen?

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  • Been there done that. Completely not worth it.

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    • Yea I know it won't be... how do I switch the feelings and urges off though?

    • There's no way to it's difficult.

  • Get the idea out of your head. No means no. Tell yourself that.

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  • You need to go on a vacation with your hubby and have kinky sex.

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  • why are you wasting your time?

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  • Confess to your husband

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  • I've done it. This way lies madness.

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    • I think I know myself it's madness - yet for some reason I still can't get him out of my head. It's pretty bad

    • Bad, bad idea.

  • Let'em gang you. Hell invite there dads. Fuck all the rules - Just have at it.

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    • Sorry = "their dads".

What Girls Said 10

  • Sounds like you're unhappy in your marriage and looking elsewhere to fill that need that would be the only reason you'd stray from you partner. A fantasy is one thing but, the contact you have with the other guy is too far. I think you should talk to your husband about what your feeling and maybe seek marriage counseling. If you act on your feelings for the other guy it gets messy but, if you figure out why your even thinking of have an affair without regard to your husband you may be able to get over he other guy.

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  • I thought it was ok. I was with a married man for years. he told me he loved me, made time, pursued me, took me on dates, paid for them and gave me lavish gifts. My wanting to cheat eventually ended my marriage. They find out... and it does cause distance between partners. This is not debatable. For me this was good, because my spouse was never right for me. So while it ended the marriage it wasn't the reason the marriage ended. It ended because it never should have been in the first place. Being with a married man helped me realize this. so there's a good thing.

    But the thing about men in my opinion, is they want the people they truly love to be happy and do well, even if it means they aren't with them. Women don't necessarily work that way. maybe its chemicals... So I believe a man who wants to have a physical affair without first leaving their partner probably isn't as invested in you as you are in them. In my case, he bullied me into an abortion (saying if I didn't he'd kill himself and we could never be together, because his soon to be ex would cause devastation). he also, unknownst to me was seeing two other women who looked like uglier versions of me. Then he got MAD and said he'd never talk to me again because I emailed one of his girlfriends, anonymously, to see if they were actively dating (because he always claimed I was the only person he was sleeping with and I was the love of his life). I only did once and last I saw on fb he is probably still dating her. but this is my experience. I wish I hadn't done it. I wish I had never met him. I have married friends hit on me sometimes, but even though I'm single I'd never go through that again.

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    • uh, what a horrible story. ๐Ÿ˜
      actually, when you're into a married man n he says he loves you - don't do anything with him before he is actually divorced.

    • @LunaJ. Agree 110% or at least legally separated in his own domicile and you are meeting his fam who is verifying his status!!

    • Yea yours is a sad story ๐Ÿ˜ข I know it's the road to nowhere and will cause so much devastation if something happens.

      Part of me wonders if he's looking a way out of his marriage or if he's just a bit bored/unhappy and wants something "extra curricular". I have no idea how much he has feelings for me vs wants to sleep with me. And I'm well aware that a married man will tell you what he wants you to hear!! Besides, we don't get close enough to have conversations like that.

  • Well, why don't you have a discussion with your husband about a possible threesome with another man or women. Then you can casually invite said married man if his wife agrees to it also. Then boom, you get to fuck each other and have it be ok with your other spouse.

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  • Lust can be a very powerful force. It led me to be irresistibly drawn to a guy in college who was engaged. I had a boyfriend too. Unfortunately, it ended in heartbreak, and I vowed never to let that happen again.

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  • If it's only lust, let that shit go

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  • If you love your husband then you need to stop contacting this other guy completely.

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  • WTH is up with you women? Is this the same one? I feel like someone wrote this same post about four months ago.

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  • Stop because it gets ugly

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  • stop it

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  • It is never ever good to get involved with coworker... much less a married one. Believe me I know.

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    • What was your experience?

    • Very bad... regret it

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