I know I'm going to get a lot of backlash here but here goes... I'm absolutely head over heels with a married man, and I too am married. He feels the same way. We both work together and although we've tried to keep our distance, we just keep being drawn to each other and it's an overpowering feeling. This has been going on now for over 7 months. I'm not unhappy in my marriage, at least I don't think so. Yet I want nothing more than to be with the other man. Basically I want my cake and to eat it. I'm not here looking for someone to say it's ok, I know it's not ok. I just don't know what to do now. I know that pursing this is so wrong and is the road to nowhere. I need a slap! And also to hear from people that have maybe been here before. I love my husband. I wouldn't say I love the other man, it's more lust. I thought it would have just fizzled out by now.
Most Helpful Guy
Its a natural thing to experience temptation, but its how we act that really determines our character. Sounds like there is something that is causing you to not look at your husband like that, which could be boredom or whatnot. But don't forget your wedding vows and remember that cheating on your husband is the worst form of selfishness. We all want what we can't have, and the sad thing is usually when we finally get it, it turns out to be a huge disappointment that can really ruin lot of lives, including your own. Its not worth it. Its ok to enjoy the flattery, but never let your emotions get in the way of reality.2
Most Helpful Girl
I thought it was ok. I was with a married man for years. he told me he loved me, made time, pursued me, took me on dates, paid for them and gave me lavish gifts. My wanting to cheat eventually ended my marriage. They find out... and it does cause distance between partners. This is not debatable. For me this was good, because my spouse was never right for me. So while it ended the marriage it wasn't the reason the marriage ended. It ended because it never should have been in the first place. Being with a married man helped me realize this. so there's a good thing.
But the thing about men in my opinion, is they want the people they truly love to be happy and do well, even if it means they aren't with them. Women don't necessarily work that way. maybe its chemicals... So I believe a man who wants to have a physical affair without first leaving their partner probably isn't as invested in you as you are in them. In my case, he bullied me into an abortion (saying if I didn't he'd kill himself and we could never be together, because his soon to be ex would cause devastation). he also, unknownst to me was seeing two other women who looked like uglier versions of me. Then he got MAD and said he'd never talk to me again because I emailed one of his girlfriends, anonymously, to see if they were actively dating (because he always claimed I was the only person he was sleeping with and I was the love of his life). I only did once and last I saw on fb he is probably still dating her. but this is my experience. I wish I hadn't done it. I wish I had never met him. I have married friends hit on me sometimes, but even though I'm single I'd never go through that again.0