This man comes in and out of my life to see if I have changed, he keeps telling me in the beginning that we'll be together then when we get into stupid fights he tells me it was never go to happen. He would have phone sex with me, but never have sex with me like he did with other women. He always made me feel as if something was wrong with me, he would call me a psychopath. He would also belittle me and disregard my feelings, and in arguments when I tried to bring up points he would call them irrelevant. I loved this man so much and I let him mess me up mentally and drain me physically to the point where I don't know who I am anymore, I kept letting him back to see if we were going to be together only to find out we never will.
Every time we have one of our falling outs he instantly get with someone else. He told me that he loves anyone that gives him attention. I gave him plenty of it I waited on him for 3 years and for what? Him to keep leaving for a girl he's only known for a few months? Of course I am hurt, and I guess I can't lash out and be upset like he use to 3 years ago. I don't know what hit me this year, but I went insane. I know I need to work on control over my emotions.
One minute he loves me then he hates me and so on it's so confusing. Now, he no longer loves me or has feelings for me, he loves someone else who is already in a relationship. He has made me feel a type of way about myself that I don't like. After everything I did for this man he said that I am the one who is incapable of love, and I'm selfish. I ask myself how? But I'll never really know. I've never been able to get over him 100% and when I am 75% him he comes back and the cycle repeats again.