Husband asks for a separation after 11 years together and 8 years of marriage. Should I be hopeful he wants to reconcile?

My husband and I have been back and forth with our relationship over the years. We now have 2 young children so it's very difficult to decide based on solely myself and not for them. I had recently gone on a 4 day weekend vacation with my mother and aunt's. When I returned home my husband said he was done.

When I first met my husband he had no job, no license and pretty much no home. Didn't bother me, I was young and he made a bad choice. Fast forward 11 years and we've been through multiple job losses of his fault, an assault charge and finally dui #2. It's been very difficult and I have been very supportive to him. The problem I am having is for the second time he has found another women that he has basically emotionally bonded with. And yes I say another so it's clear there is something I am not giving him.
I'm stuck. He says he loves me but needs to do his own thing. I very much love him, wouldn't have gone through all this if I didn't. But at what point with his behavior do I realize that it's officially over? He's pretty much told me I was the reason for his drinking, I made him miserable. All I ever wanted is for him to stop and to do activities that don't involve alcohol. I get he doesn't want to be around me but it hurts because he's now doing everything I've ever wanted him to do. With this other person. He's finally growing up I guess.

I know I can be a very difficult person to deal with. I want to go to counseling, I asked him to go with he said no. He's not having any problems. Also we are still intimate, but I know the minute he is with another woman intimately I will never be able to go back to him. I just can't bare to think about either one of us sharing our body with another person.

Am I being selfish? Only thinking about me? What do I do?
Husband asks for a separation after 11 years together and 8 years of marriage. Should I be hopeful he wants to reconcile?
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