Husband asks for a separation after 11 years together and 8 years of marriage. Should I be hopeful he wants to reconcile?

My husband and I have been back and forth with our relationship over the years. We now have 2 young children so it's very difficult to decide based on solely myself and not for them. I had recently gone on a 4 day weekend vacation with my mother and aunt's. When I returned home my husband said he was done.

When I first met my husband he had no job, no license and pretty much no home. Didn't bother me, I was young and he made a bad choice. Fast forward 11 years and we've been through multiple job losses of his fault, an assault charge and finally dui #2. It's been very difficult and I have been very supportive to him. The problem I am having is for the second time he has found another women that he has basically emotionally bonded with. And yes I say another so it's clear there is something I am not giving him.
I'm stuck. He says he loves me but needs to do his own thing. I very much love him, wouldn't have gone through all this if I didn't. But at what point with his behavior do I realize that it's officially over? He's pretty much told me I was the reason for his drinking, I made him miserable. All I ever wanted is for him to stop and to do activities that don't involve alcohol. I get he doesn't want to be around me but it hurts because he's now doing everything I've ever wanted him to do. With this other person. He's finally growing up I guess.

I know I can be a very difficult person to deal with. I want to go to counseling, I asked him to go with he said no. He's not having any problems. Also we are still intimate, but I know the minute he is with another woman intimately I will never be able to go back to him. I just can't bare to think about either one of us sharing our body with another person.

Am I being selfish? Only thinking about me? What do I do?


0|0
25

Most Helpful Guy

  • You know there's a story about a man who was planning on leaving his wife and so she made him make an agreement where he would do all the things he did when they first got married. After a while the man started to realize that he was still in love with her but she had terminal cancer. His wife passed away but he always remembered. If you truly love this person then do the things you did when you fell in love. Don't wait until it's too late. Regret is a son of a bitch.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should move on, I'm sorry :/. His reasons for separation sound like he doesn't want to come back

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • It seems like he is almost done with you and almost out the door. The sooner you reconcile to the fact the sooner you can prepare urself for him leaving.

    0|0
    0|0
  • what's his race?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sorry to hear that. Why did he say he is leaving you?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Essentially I'm too negative, not supportive enough, I don't show enough affection. He works second shift, I work first. It's kind of hard to basically even communicate daily.

  • Chances are less...

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't count on it and I'm so sorry :(

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;