What do I do? marriage? divorce?

Ok, so here it goes. I hate posting about my life for the world to judge, but I need serious help. Me and my husband have been seeing a marriage counselor (we have been married for 12 years). We are now legally separated (not martially, just legally) and continuing to see a counselor. We have issues with arguing, hurtful things he and I have both done in the past and the fact that I realized I'm not in love with him and I'm not attracted to him anymore. I have no idea if this is just a normal phase in our relationship and if this is something normal that people go through in marriage. Here comes the tough part, I recently (past 3 months) have fallen madly and deeply in love with another man (while separated , did not cheat). He is begging me to get a divorce from my husband and marry him, he says that I'm the woman he has waited for all his life. I would love nothing more than to do that if there were two of me. I do not want to hurt my husband, so I'm continuing therapy and wondering can the marriage get better? is it normal to not want anything to do with your husband? I do not want to leave him if there is a possibility that I can be in love with him and attracted to him. I also do not want to let this new guy go if this will just end up as a divorce anyway. How often do people just stop being attracted to their spouse and have it come back? please don't say go on romantic dates and try to rekindle things, we have gone on more dates than anyone and we do not have kids. We go out two or more times a week. I am just wondering if this is just a hump that eventually disappears or if this will just continue loveless and mediocre. We do not have sex and have not had sex much in the past 5 years. I usually have to close my eyes and make myself do it, meanwhile telling myself that this is what wives do. Before we started seeing a counselor it was maybe once a month. The counselor at first had asked me if I just wasn't affectionate, found out 3 months ago, not the case.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You took vows when you got married,
    For better or worse...
    It's up to you

    Personally I think marriage is overrated , couples can be happy in a relationship regardless of marriage or not.
    If you do devorce him you should never be married again, enjoy life have fun and remain stress free
    It's your life do what you want to do.
    You both will eventually move on.
    Your lucky you never had children or that would be worse for both of you.

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    • Your only regret is 12 years of your life waisted in a marriage that was eventually doomed to fail.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Ok... Right in the beginning. You don't love him and not attracted no more. If this is truly the case... Divorce

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  • Prob. time to move. on sadly

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  • Oh yea gtfo it's best for u both rather than to play pretend

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  • Move on its over , I am in the shape my wife hates me

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