Why isn't he answering my question?

Ive been talking to my ex recently and everything seems fine, we've had a little reunion asking what both of us are doing this day.Feels just like old times, except I am still in awe that this is the same guy who told me to "leave him alone" 7 months ago and now he wants to talk to me. We've hooked up once for fun, I told him straight out I have no more feelings for him and neither does he for me. So we've straightened that out, so I came over his house and EVERYTHING felt like we were in a relationship, the kiss, me lying on top of him, looking in each others' eyes, completely everything, we cuddled the whole time. Hooking up doesn't have that stuff, we made out passionately; didn't wanna stop to tell you the truth.

I asked him why he doesn't wanna have sex with me, his response was both "wouldn't feel right" and "I don't want too" I know he wanted to, I saw the look in his eyes and of course his boner he wanted too. What is preventing him from having sex with me. Or at least answer that question for me, he won't tell me why. and those 2 reasons I think are just a lie.

and I also think I may want him back, just being with him felt so right I don't know why, I think I might love him again :'( but he wont. EVER. :( ((


Most Helpful Girl

  • He probably won't sleep with you because he knows he feels conflicted. He has strong feelings for you: both good and bad. Sex can make already intense feelings, even stronger and it can make it difficult to hold back emotions. You probably already know where his feelings are coming from. If I were you I would try to show him, gently, that you are someone that he can trust. I understand that trust is a nearly impossible thing to rebuild. If rebuilding trust is not possible between the two of you, there is no relationship to save.

    When it comes to establishing trust, it can be very tricky. Most guys don't want to hear anything from you, because actions speak louder than words. If anything, I would talk to him earnestly about your feelings for him. Show him you respect him. If / when he tries to test your boundaries by pushing the same buttons that would make the two of you fight before, never fight him. Dissolving into tears is much better response than fighting. let him know that you know the break up has been hard on him.

    Help him to open up and talk about his feelings for you, but only if you know talking about those feelings won't hurt him further. Be gentle.

    You may be right that he cannot ever love you again. This can happen quite a few times before finding the right man, unfortunately. And heart break is the risk you take when you first endeavor to love. If it works between you two, or if it falls apart, you still really need to take stock of where you went wrong in this relationship. Otherwise it will be a lesson you will learn over and over in subsequent relationships.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Maybe because he really does want to, but he remembers that there is a reason why the two of you broke up. He wants to go back, but then something is telling him not to and he knows that having sex with you may bring him back closer to you when he was the one who told you to leave him alone.

  • 1. He doesn't want to get attached to you by having sex.

    2. He doesn't want you to get attached to him by having sex.

    3. He's moved on and doesn't want to stir up all the old memories by having sex.

    Pick any of the above.


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