Should I tell my ex I'm transferring to a college across the country/going home?

We dated for 6 months, and I broke up with him because it was really toxic. He was controlling and mean and immature and I never felt comfortable around him, but I went against my gut feeling and was kind of sick because of it. He doesn't know that though, and he really liked me.

I think because I didn't belong here and was homesick, I couldn't see anything clearly. I didn't even like him, he was depressed and sucked all my happiness that I had left in me from this depressing place. Yet he reminded me of someone in my family. There is a side of me though that still is obsessed with him, but I'm really healing from it recently, and valuing myself more. Anyways, it was obviously a very unhealthy situation.

I'm transferring colleges close to my home, completely on the other side of the country. But we live on the same floor this year and I feel like he needs to know for some reason.

I'm afraid though that I'm going to regret telling him because I'm gonna say the wrong thing or he's going to respond in a way that I will think about for days... which will suck because I'm just starting to get him out of my head and focus on myself. But I'm also afraid that if I don't tell him, Im going to just be waiting for him to figure out and text me (because he inevitably will), and I kind of want closure.

But I don't know what to say to him, and how (unblock him from text and message him, just knock on his door and tell him, text if he's available to talk in person...).


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If your relationship was really that unhealthy than no don't tell him. The reason you want to tell him is because he controlled what you did for so long you are scare to do it alone. I think you will feel better when you do it by yourself for yourself.

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    • Thats really true, but if i don't tell him, he might think I left because of him, and he will text me when he finds out. And its going to take a long time to heal from that text/conversation. Thats why I was thinking to just get it over with now, but I'm not sure.

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    • And what if I run into him before I leave and he asks me questions?

    • Just tell him just before you leave and if you can't then answer his questions with the truth

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 3

  • People are ex's for a reason. You and him don't fit together - plain and simple. You've moved on - without him. So keep doing that!

    There's no need to inform him of anything. Make your plans, and carry on with living your life. There are MANY new adventures that lie ahead. You no longer "need" an ex in your life.

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  • And him a message of Ur moving back. That's information enuf.

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    • What if he responds with questions though?

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    • Nice. Thank you so much. Also should I add like "see you never" or is that too harsh?

    • I think it's implied in the message I typed as an example ( not to be in touch going forward). If the guy has sense he will understand it. If he is dense he won't probably. But then he will learn it the hard way when u never respond ( cause I've blocked him).

  • Why would you tell your ex anything about what you do?

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