my ex (of nearly a year) and I had a mutual break up because I fell pregnant and he was against the idea of a baby but I wasn't so we split. He kept contacting me now and again but he moved country admitting he wanted a fresh start because he was scared! I didn't bother him at all. He then contacted me from his new number abroad saying he wanted the baby and wanted home which was great. But we spoke for a few days and I broke it off because it was too hard him not being with me. I then found out he's in a relationship with another girl as well😨! A girl from back home that was in his group of friends. I confronted him about this because I had found out through social media which he never posted anything about me on but they've been together not even 2 months since we split and she's all over his social media? When I confronted him he blocked me I spoke with his mum who didn't know a thing about her. She called every night that week because I had blocked him and he was begging for me to contact him I eventually gave in and skyped him and he cried for over an hour saying he wanted me back, wants to be at the birth, he's made a huge mistake and there relationship is nothing like ours was😣 I pushed him away and told him I wouldn't get back with him or forgive him hoping the playing hard to get would work but since then I've not heard from him or his mum in over a week now?😭 He's still with this girl, will he ever come back? Is she a rebound? Please help?
Most Helpful Girl
Girl, just move on. You could try reaching out to him if you really feel like you need the support but it sounds like he's been selfish and left you hanging all these months anyway so you may as well just do it on your own. He didn't step up when you needed him to before, so why let him be a part or the birth and everything now? Don't let him decide to play house on his own terms now that he feels ready. Even if he didn't want to be together, he should've been there for you all along.
You say the breakup was mutual but it sounds like you decided to keep your baby and he wasn't on board, so he got out of dodge, fled his responsibilities, and picked some rebound because he didn't want to be alone. You deserve better than that, seriously. What if he becomes a part of your baby's life and just skips out on her and leaves her hanging like he did to you?
Being scared is normal, moving across the country to get away from your baby's mother is way over the top, especially if you had already broken up. It sounds like he may have legitimately regretted what he did and it sounds like it took a lot for him to admit that but at the same time, he abandoned you and went with someone else for selfish, immature reasons and he didn't care at all how that would impact you (and his child). AND he didn't even bother mentioning this girl after getting back into contact with you. If he left and wanted to return, he should've been honest and up front with you about what he wanted and where he saw himself fitting into you and your baby's life.
Also, he hasn't even moved back yet? So he says he wants to be there for you but he's still across the country? Don't count on him for support.
Quit talking to him and his mother both. Trust me, if they want to contact you badly enough and want to help out, they will. They might come around after the baby is born but that isn't your problem. Focus on healing yourself, moving forward, and being the best mama you can be. You shouldn't have been "playing hard to get" but you shouldn't be getting back with him either and if you told him you were going to have a hard time forgiving him, so what? I'm sure he was hurt but he should also be willing to accept it'll take time getting over that. Take extra good care of yourself, quit worrying about them, stay busy, and build accept good support network. It will be OK, I promise.1
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