Was it stress or did he genuinely lose feelings for me?

Hi all,

My boyfriend and I had only been together a few months but it was a very instant connection, we fell for one another the day we met. We kicked our relationship off fairly soon after meeting and everything was going great. We were doing distance which was tough but both of us were willing to relocate in the future to close to the gap and we had great communication. I had never been so happy or treated so well.

I flew to his state from Canada where I reside and noticed about a week before I came he started acting slightly different but whenever I asked him if we were okay he reassured me that everything was good, nothing had changed and were just falling back into our regular routines. He continued to tell me he loved me and made the effort to call and text. He told his friends and family about me. However when I came to see him he was emotionally distant and when I called him on it, he told me that this distance was really hard on him. He stated a number of different things like that he did in fact love me but he got scared of his feelings and ran from them. That the distance was hard so he convinced himself it wouldn't work and talked himself out of the relationship. He has a lot of family issues going on right now and he has taken the initiative to go back to therapy; when he is stressed he's been known to fold into himself and cut everyone off and he stresses about minor things more than a regular person would. He stated he knew he was throwing something good away but that this is what he needed to do right now.

My question would be, how do you tell someone you love them so much, discuss moving for them (one week before breaking up with them), and continue to do things that show you care if there are apparently no feelings there? Does he genuinely have no feelings for me or is he so focused on the other stressors in his life that he shut this relationship out?


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What Guys Said 2

  • That would vary from person to person. You know him better than us. Just ask him and try to make things work. Offer to be there for him and support. Hopefully you can get back together if that's what you both want

  • Meet him as soon as possible and clear those things...

    • I live in Canada he lives in the US. I tried to clarify the night we broke up and he just cried and said he doesn't know and that he feels numb

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