I can completely see why you'd not want to do that, but I just think it's best to be honest to help her deal with it sooner because she's going to end up hurt eventually anyway, and it's actually more painful than straight up honesty.
Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts though.
Yes, you are right. No easy way to break up with someone. Guys will do this to soften the blow. They will do this to make themselves feel better, less douchy/guilty. Also, some guys do this so they don't burn bridges.
Yeah none of us like to feel like we're hurting anyone. I see. So if they don't want to burn a bridge but aren't interested in Pershing things further am I right in thinking it's likely because they're hoping to maintain access to sex?
Yep, totally! Many breakups do return to sex only status later down the road if neither have entered a new relationship yet. So many guys just want to keep that option open.
Best to cut that tie then lol.
Otherwise I'd struggle to move on.
Good point. I believe in cutting ties. Like you said, you can't cleanly move on with them still linked to you one way or an other.
Yeah you're definitely right there! I think women find it easier to maintain a friendship, albeit sometimes innocently and naively (dependent on the type of relationship they had).
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Well that's what I would have thought too.
But not everyone wants to do right. Cause not everyone wants to face the post break up scene.
So you agree a guy would likely do it out of trying to avoid uncomfortable feelings?
I understand why people don't like hurting others, that's natural, but I find it difficult to understand why they don't realise that sometimes it's just best to be cruel to be kind. Maybe they've had a bad experience prior, or maybe it is out of guilt.
It's the guilt. But sometimes it's noones fault. I've been through some pretty harsh breakups but always been clear as to the why. It does have backlash but I've persisted n it's not that bad 6 months later.
See I can accept if someone doesn't feel the same about me as I do them. It sucks obviously but I'm old enough now to know better and move on, you know. I'd just rather know one way or the other personally and I'm sure many women would agree. To the point is best. People who struggle to communicate are hard work. Life is hard enough at times lol.
Let's just save each other a whole load of hasstle by being straight! Lol
Straight forward you mean. Cause we are already str8.
Haha yes straight forward! It's more respectful too.
Yup it is.
I only wonder because just before I stopped seeing someone he said you make me happy... which completely confused me. I had a gut feeling something was off before that but after he said that I wasn't so sure about mentioning it then in case I got accused of being insecure. Does that sound like guilt to you too?
If he said that n then cut u off it doesn't make sense. In fact it hurts more. It's like saying let's get married n then leaving the person alone at the alter.
Well he said he was really busy and didn't message me as often when it used to be every day... I took it as though he wanted to end it but couldn't say it after a while so I ended up having to do it for him.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a while but after so long you just start to wonder and realise that you have to look out for yourself first. I'm sure if he was really that interested he would have made more of an effort. He still messages me now every few months to catch up on what's new but I feel like that's probably more of a convenience thing for him now.
I've remained (strictly) friendly with him since. But we're in completely different cities now anyway.
Yup. Watch out for urself always. U come first to you. Everything n body else is after u.
Glad to hear.
Are men generally like this with all women if that's their nature or just certain ones?
Probably rather their own personality.
Yeah that's what I thought, so their communication style probably isn't likely to change then.
People can change, if they want themselves.
I kinda figured that much by your name lol.
Oh no, I know it's not easy. I think it's more difficult when you're younger too.
Well good luck. You can PM me if you like.
I actually really need advice if you wanna
No problem 🙂 I'll do my best!
Thanks maybe a new person and new opinion will help me better
Fire away 🙂
You said in pm
I've followed you, is it not working?
I honestly just want alone time rn because of feelings I appreciate the thought take care ♥️
I got a little angry im sorry
All the best!
Hope it works out for you.
I let everyone down
Don't be so hard on yourself! Chin up 🙂