In every relationship my fears of him leaving me have been true cause I stress, and they all say they can handle it, and help me see the light, but give up after a month or so, and I can't STAND IT ANYMORE... I ruin friendships, and relationships... how bad can a girl fuck up?


0|0
49

Most Helpful Guy

  • Basically, fear of falling in love is a phobia known as philophobia. Usually, individuals suffering from philophobia wouldn’t mind crossing any limits to avoid falling in love. More than often, victims refrain from having long conversations with other individuals in the fear that the long conversation would result into a love affair.
    While some are afraid of the consequences of love, there are others who fear of the whole drama that love creates. It’s believed that this fear stems from a failed relationship in the past. Often, a miserable relationship experienced by an individual develops some kind of fear in the victim’s mind, which scares the sufferer from falling in love ever again. These individuals generally develop a negative frame of mind towards love. He/she tends to believe that all relationships in life have a miserable ending.
    What one should realize over here is that all relationships may not fail, just like all relationships may not necessarily work. The reason for the past relationship failure may have to do with the fact that the victim was not involved in the right relationship. Just like any other experience in life, one should only learn from their bad relationship experience and not give rise to false beliefs that can further traumatize one’s life. Getting rid of the false belief system is the key to eradicate the fear of falling in love.
    In order to get rid of the fear, you will have to proactively meet more people in your life. Slowly and gradually, you will see a positive change in your thought process. You don’t have to call people out on dates after the very first few visits. Just hang in there and keep meeting new people and call the right one out for a date at your own pace. Remember, you won’t be able to kill your fear overnight, but you will certainly be able to get rid of it over a period of time, provided you take some proactive measures from your end as mentioned above.
    If you think, you won’t be able to help yourself out; there is no need to feel dejected. In some cases, the negative belief system is deep rooted. Over here, individuals would feel the need of some external help to get rid of the thoughts that are holding a person back. Certain therapies can be of great help over here. A good therapist will analyze your past relationship experiences, and will accordingly offer you an appropriate solution to deal with the fear of falling in love.

    0|1
    1|0
    • Certain mental exercises and other relaxing techniques are usually recommended to the patients.
      In some cases, certain drugs may be prescribed to the sufferer to get rid of the fear. Usually, anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills are advised to the patients. An individual taking these pills will find it easier to communicate with new people. Remember, love is a beautiful feeling in itself. There is no point depriving oneself from the wonderful feeling of love.

    • Show All
    • ty 😊 reading your text was still interesting tho

Most Helpful Girl

  • it's simple girl. the guy leaves you cos you stress about that he is going to do it.
    a guy is with you to have fun with you, enjoy together time, relax from stressy life...
    with having insecurity it just won't work.
    you just create a negative environment around you - and none want to sit in that long.
    do believe in yourself, that you deserve the relationship you wish for, you're cute enough to attract n keep a guy

    0|1
    0|0
    • But he does help make the stress go away anytime I'm beside him, it's just been a very bad day between us after I lied and if I could do anything to fix what I did, I would have done so right now

    • I just am a huge fuck up

    • you have to be able to make your stress go away alone. sometimes we can't do it, then our partner helps.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • If I could private message you I would but I'm not paying for it. Please don't answer these on here because your business doesn't need to be all over the internet. Have you had relationship issues since childhood?( family, friend's, significant others) Do you know the core reason why you stress so much?(traumatic event, neglect, genic mental illness, over medication, self medication, bad relationship experience s, things like that) And do you put your trust in people hoping they won't hurt and use you? If you are able to do therapy, there's a program called DBT (dialect behavioral therapy), it helps with mindfulness and building healthy relationships and ending bad ones and the actual therapy can help address issues that come up in-between. Hope you find your path!

    1|0
    0|0
  • ahh that just sounds like a trust issue. you got to trust the guy not to leave you, and you got to trust that he makes the right decisions. I dont reckon you're a fuck up, just work on your trust.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Bad experiences of trust caused them... how many times have I been betrayed? Heh, not only by my partners, but by people I trusted they soon gave me

    • But he means the "world to me", heh, I've never felt the same with past relationships, and I am just worried, cause I swore to myself, if he isn't the right one, then it proves I am unable to find love and just be in pain, and I won't fall for anyone else ever again

    • I guess thats pretty shitty, I would feel like I have trust issues too if I was in your position. But I would say that even when perople get you down, you need to get back up. yeah, its some crappy motivational quote, but If you try doing it, you won't feel like you won't ever fall in love, because you need to be happy to find love. hope that helps.

  • If you're worthy, they won't quit, but if they quit, they aren't worthy... I've spent months battling before, and that's just to try and get beyond friends, so don't think it's all you're fault that they couldn't own up to what they signed up for. I guess they assumed it would be quick and easy, I'd like to think they learned something but I doubt it. Keep looking for that lump of coal that won't crumble, that's the one that could turn into a diamond under the pressure.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Stop hating yourself.

    Just stop it. It does not help anything and it won't lead you to happiness.

    1|0
    0|0
    • How when your depressed and have soo many disorders

    • By realizing that you cannot do this alone. By realizing the world is your enemy and you must find a tribe. You have to find a "family" that gives you positive feedback and validates you.

  • of course you aren't

    0|0
    1|0
  • The more you stress about losing someone the more you push them away.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not the right person, it work out in time, go to park relax awhile, find your interself ,

    0|0
    0|0
  • Get yourself a better guy but never doubt yourself.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • Work on yourself before you try being with someone again. Simple

    0|1
    1|0
    • No, if he isn't the right one, I will force myself to never be with someone else again... I am not going to be tricked, in another persons veiw, it was just small lies I made, only three times, to me, it's the whole world when he said "I'll forgive you, someday. But if you continue, I won't hesitate to break up with you" and all I read in my head was "he hates me, he doesn't love me, we're over, I can never be good enough for anyone... I am a fuck up"

    • Show All
    • I don't care... I already know I don't deserve love... I deserve punishment for lying to him..., and if he leaves me, it'll of course be my fault... I don't care, I am so weak tears are forming, and i hate having feelings

    • Lmao well have fun

  • I hear you sister!!! I’m the same.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Then work on yourself before the pity party as nothing will change otherwise

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;