No intimacy or affection in marriage?

Ok been with my wife for almost 14 years she was always a big girl (was never an issue for me). She was unhappy with the way she lookedso she decided to go and have surgery to lose the weight. She lost 90kg over 8 to 10 months. About 4 months into the weight loss i noticed that she was becoming less affectionate towards me. And the intimacy was all but gone. I was starting to worry that or marriage was falling apart and she was seeing someone else. So i built up the guts to ask her straight out if she was seeing someone else. I was told no and that she was still uncomfortable with herself and that she would try to be more affectionate towards me. It's been 12 months now with no intimacy and no affection at all not even a hug or i love you. I have asked her a few times what is going on and been told that she has issues she needs to sort out. I still live her dearly and we have 2 beautiful children together so this is why im still trying to work it out instead im leaving. Im at the point now that i dont know what to do.


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  • It's really unfair of her to deprive you of affection and she needs to start going to seek help if she is having any issues. Bring up the problems, ask what you can do to help her through the difficult time and let her know you either make this better now or let resentment weigh your marriage down.

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  • 12 months, is a long time and something doesn't seem right here. Is she spending more time on her phone? Look for subtle signs. Has her interest in kids waned as well? If yes, you have your answer.
    Some women won't admit to cheating till they are caught or they have decided to end the current relationships.

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    • I did all that told how i felt she said if i wanted i could go through her phone i said i shouldn't have to and she is still saying that there is nothing going on

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