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(I have depression and anxiety disorder) My family is falling apart. My dad had a brain tumor and a stroke and now most probably has prostate cancer. As a result of that we are now financially fucked. He's now like a shell of his former self. My moms boyfriend is verbally abusive. My matric finals are coming up in a week. I think my sister has depression aswell and now she's being fucked over by this one guy, i'm really worried about her. My ex is emotionally abusive and I'm just in so much pain watching her move on and I can't. I'm in so much pain...
I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. My brother passed away from cancer at 29 years old. It is a very tough thing to witness because as they are struggling, so are we. It's very important whether you know how to or not, to accept what is happening. I know its difficult to because that is your dad but without the exception of what is going on, it'll only become ten times harder to deal with. I had to do this to help cope with what my brother was facing.
You seem to be the type who worries about others before yourself. That is not necessarily a bad thing but sometimes it can draw away from self care that we so desperately need. Overwhelming yourself with other peoples problems is going to put you in depression for lack of self awareness. Your mother knows her boyfriend is not exactly the best thing out there. She deals with what he puts her through and if she is okay with allowing someone to treat her in such a way then there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it. Seems like abuse runs in the family. Seeing that your ex has done this to you, and it is also being done to your sister.
What you need to do, is set an example. Be the one they look up to. Don't weaken yourself because its time for you to be the man in your family. Your father is ill and you will need to step up and make sure your family is okay and most important make sure you are okay so that it won't take much for you to make them happy and direct them onto the right path. Please do not beat yourself up with all that is going on. It is not your fault and often when things are getting rough in life, we tend to think putting ourself in misery is the easy way out. Last thing your father needs is for you to make yourself sick with this depression. He needs you to be strong minded. He needs you to take on his role. He needs you to show him that you can take care of things and no depression is going to get in the way of you being your families strength
I was in an abusive relationship for 3.5 years. While dealing with my brother dying, I was getting beaten up. Showing up beside my brother in the hospital bruised up. Dealing with the two at once, is something i don't wish upon my worst enemy. So trust me when I say I understand you. One thing we did wrong was giving someone the satisfaction to play with our emotions and to damage us mentally. It is not our fault that they are crummy human beings. It is not your job to take their punishment. Living in misery over your exes wrong doings is you punishing yourself for what she did to you.
99% of people (including me) would be depressed like you. The trick is you have to be that 1%. Its very difficult but it can definitely be done.You will get through this. Here's how: Tackle one problem at a time, overlook all other problems.Start with the exams. Come up with 1 dream or aspiration for your future. Just dream of one single important goal. Dream big, dream something awesome. Write it down. Everytime you are sad & don't feel like studying, read that dream and remind yourself that doing these exams well brings you 1 giant step closer to that dream.
After exams are over and you've done nothing less than your very bestThen tackle dad's health problems. Ask yourself how can i help. Get a part time job? Online fundraising? Brainstorm ideas and execute.Next tackle the sisters boyfriend. Talk to your sister with an open heart and tell her that you are genuinely worried for her. Ask how she's coping with dads health and other things in her life. Execute based on what she says.
Next tackle the abusive boyfriend of mother. Figure out what makes him tick anf why he is abusive. Execute based on that.Next you will find you have long forgotten your ex because you've been so busy taking care of the things that actually matter to you in this life... specifically your dad, your sister, your mother and lastly and least importantly your dream.Now my friend, remember that you should only be tackling one problem at a time. Now go execute.
My friend, its super hard and I give you my utmost respect. If there's anything I want you to remember... its this:Its gonna be hard but it's more than possible.Go execute.