Once a cheater always a cheater or making a change?

So I'm plagued with the question whether or not my ex can change, I'm trying to forgive, not willing to ever take him back but it hurts thinking he could change for the girl he cheated with. I gave him several chances before I had confirmed proof of his lying and cheating and he continued to overlap me and this girl right up till a few days before I got the proof. Since then he's still been with her and seemed like he was making a sincere effort, not posting on Facebook and liking other women's photos, then he resurfaced telling me he missed me, thinks about me everyday, and even met up last week, we did not have sex but lots of kissing and he wanted me to spend the night, so does that prove he can't change or is unwilling to change? We were opposites, she's much more suited with common interests and style in appearance, so if she's the one, why is he making out and messaging me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nah, people never change. Situations might, but you are who you are

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Once a cheater always a cheater. They may love you in their own twisted way, but they'll do it again. The question is will will you find out again. I always belive people who have cheated should not persue any monogamy, but should find their peace in an open relationship so that there's no creeping and no betrayal. The problem with most cheaters is that they don't want to share their partner, but like to sleep around themselves. For the record: I couldn't be in an open relationship but I think cheaters should, with another cheater so they don't go around hurting people. But hey who am I haha.

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What Guys Said 2

What Girls Said 2

  • He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He is not going to change

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  • For my opinion, the way you said it, he's not ready to change. Do you want to be there, just there for him waiting for a change while he's playing? Easy to say, hard to do but go find someone who deserves you.

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    • no I'm out of it I knew kissing him was kissing him goodbye, but after all he put me through to think he could change for her was painful, but almost comforting since she seemed a better match, so why come back to me and risk someone he seemed he may change for. I'm a good person and he takes advantage of that cause he did things so demeaning but I still talk to him because I'm not a hateful person, but how could he do that to her and me, he's 44 and this chick has a kid

    • He's 44 and hasn't learned any lesson. Choose your battle wisely. You're fighting alone with this one. Hehe

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