Should I stay with my boyfriend after he reveals he depressed & having suicidal thoughts?

We’ve been together 2 years. Lately things have been weird between us. I just noticed a awkwardness that developed. When I asked what was going on, he told me how he’s been feeling and the thoughts he’s been having and that he’s tired of lying and pretending everything is okay. Everything he said made sense and I understood how it was effecting our relationship. I just now don’t know what to do or how to help him. He’s not the kind To go to
therapy or take any medication. So I thought just being there as a supportive girlfriend and constantly reminding him that I love & support him , would be enough. But lately I’ve been finding that really draining because I’m no longer getting my emotional needs meet. The relationship became one sided, we do talk a lot more and have sex but it just doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore. I know I sound a little selfish and I wanna stick this out for us. He talks about us getting married and having kids once he’s better. But right now it’s a very confusing situation & sometimes I feel that supporting him as a friend will be better for the both of us. But I don’t wanna regret that decisions. Opinions?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • You want to throw away all that time and a potential future because he is having a hard time? Lady, this is the time he needs you most.

    Having dealt with depression, I know it is hard for friends and family too. But trust me, he needs you.

    It is your choice of course, but I strongly recommend you stick it out. You should really push for counseling though.

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  • I'm sorry for both of you. It sounds emotionally strenuous. You need to get out. Of course you want to lend emotional support but you can't be around negative behavior so you tell him you love him and can't watch him hurting so he can call you if he really is feeling suicidal but then you are going to insist he get help because you didn't leave just so you can continue experiencing the negative effects that prompted your departure in the first place. It's counterproductive and you can no longer subject yourself to it. Its the reason you left it's too depressing! Good luck honey.

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  • No you should leave him, that is just too much drama.

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  • It’s you’re choice but that being said you have no obligation to take his stress into you’re hands. If you choose to stay with him you will have to also take his problems on you’re shoulders and it’s a heavy burden to be constantly worrying wether or not he’s going to do it or if he’s in the mood to be you’re boyfriend when depression hasn’t crippled him emotionally. If you choose to stay or go they both require more soul searching on you’re part.

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  • You probably should continue to support him and see if his state improve

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  • You should! And help him recuperate!

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  • He needs to get help from more than just you. You shouldn't have to bear full responsibility for his mental health. Absolutely be supportive, but you need to urge him to talk to a professional, or even just call a hotline.

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  • It would be a bad idea to leave him during this time. It will probably leave him worse off. I'm sure after all this has ended it will end up better for the both of you! :)

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What Girls Said 5

  • You should support him 100%.
    But remind him, that you are not the solution.
    Whoever you date, marry, will go through tough times.
    You will never be the solution, but you should be the support.
    Hang in there with him, and work with him on finding therapists that are covered in his medical insurance.

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  • Well if you loved him enough, you would want to stay with him in good AND bad times.
    Maybe you aren't meant to be, but it would probably make it worse to break up though.

    You're not sure if you want to stay, and that's a big sign that you should, and that you obviously don't love him enough :)

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  • As someone who is deep into what you're into i say be very careful with how you proceed. When someone is depressed you are still allowed to express your true feelings. Be delicate but explain your side, that you are feeling neglected. When i did that we broke up for a short while. He made promises to change and he did change for a few years. Then another hurdle came, an understandable one again, and its happening all over again. We are 10yrs in and feel like im once again putting myself last. So like i said, proceed with caution, it really all depends on how he handles you bringing it up when you do the first time.

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  • Stay n help him

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  • Ask yourself would you like him to leave your side if you're facing hard times or are depressed or stressed out? If he's not breaking up with you then he should have hopes that he will be better. And he even brings up having children once he gets better. Which means that he wants to be better.
    I know it's hard to not be able to do anything for the ones we love but sometimes staying by their side is means everything to them

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