Why is it so shocking that I don't want to pay lobola?

Anonymous
Hoping to find someone who understands this custom.

If you're confused lobola is the custom of paying an agreed sum of money to your fiances parents as a token of gratitude for raising her so well and to prove that you will be able to provide for her.

The cultural symbolism behind it makes sense to me and is something I can support, but lately the custom has degenerated into a get rich quick scheme often resulting in men buying houses for their in laws before receiving permission to marry.

The greed behind it is what bothers me as I feel like parents are just making it more difficult for new families already burdened with student loans, and the costs of starting a new life together.

The custom has become so pervasive in my society that some families who do not believe in the custom suddenly start wanting money just because the groom is from a family that practices it.
Why is it so shocking that I don't want to pay lobola?
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