Should I stay in and suck it up or move on?

Been dating my friend now for 4 months (we were friends for 11 years) anyway. I am so called "perfect" according to her, her family, her friends etc. I have put more support into her than I have in all my past relationships combined. I am not needy, I do everything I do out of my love for her without seeking recognition. She moved out of state to further her edu, which I pressed her to do. I have done everything from making sure she had everything she needed before she left, to supporting her in every way a perfect man could while she is gone. Send her cards, hand written letter, flowers (not all the time), got her a 1 year pass to massage envy and the list goes on. Mind you I hold nothing over her shoulders. Anyway, this girl says "I know something good when I see it, and I see so much in you but it has all come so fast, you have set the bar higher than anyone could ever reach" With that said, she expresses very very little emotion to me, does not want anything exclusive with me till at least December, why I don't know. Should I stay in and suck it up for a few more months, keep showing my support or should I move on?

  • Keep being the man I am, support her through this
    Vote A
  • Move on
    Vote B
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Might I add, when I say "stay in and suck it up" I simply mean keep on being who I am and see if the switch ever turns on up inside her head. She claims she already see's so many good qualities in me, but says "you have a vice I know you do"


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe back of a little. If you're wanting commitment and she's not willing at this point, you being a bit less attentive should make her evaluate the relationship. There's no need for you to put forth all the effort. And to be honest, women like a bit of mystery. If she notices, and she should, that the handwritten letters and phone calls are less frequent, she will wonder what's going on. It may make her realize how important you are to her and she'll be more likely to reciprocate the romantic efforts. On the other hand, if she doesn't seem to notice and/or becomes even more distant, then maybe it's time to move on. I do notice in what you've written that you talk about you're dating "your friend" and about all the things you do...and how she says you're perfect...but what I didn't read was how you feel about her. Is it possible that you're doing these things simply because you want to be in a relationship or do you honestly want to be with her? Think about that if the answer isn't perfectly clear.


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What Girls Said 3

  • she does not seem fair and why go further to just get hurt more

    • Yeah, I am what I consider low maint. Little does she know just a simple sweet text lights up my day, mean while I am sending her all sorts of ish, just to make sure she is taken care of and has everything she needs. It's not as if I have nothing to do in my life, I make time.

    • I noe what you mean sometimes you just feel like the whole relationship is u... and at that point you can either talk it out find a solution or move on... I try talking it out a lot of times but usually I end up leaving because I feel unappreciated

  • I would say move on. If she can't appreciate you and show emotions for everything that you've done for you, than really why should you waste your time when you can do be happy with someone who can.

  • Not fair to you. sounds like you've really gone out of your way. I say you deserve better than what she's able to give you at the moment. Think very seriously about what you want and need in a long term relationship.


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