Do people really want to be friends with an ex they are not over with yet?

The break up is still fresh a few months and the feelings are still there? Or that is just an excuse for them to keep them for now until they are over them? My ex dumped me but insists to be friends with me and keeps telling me he still has these feelings for me and flirts with me but hurts my feelings when I want more... I cannot do this anymore... :( I told him to stop contacting me that it's over. He got mad and told me I keep sh/tting on his feelings and asked if I wanted affection that is why I am bitching at him. We broke up in May. We stopped talking for 2 months... and then he came back to say Happy Birthday to me in September... what is he doing to me... We haven't seen each other since the breakup. he is not dating anyone right now. he said nobody replaced me...


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • I think it is possible to be friends with an ex, but it needs to be only a platonic friendship. I've done that before and it was fine. To have a continuing relationship with and ex that works though you either need to both be wanting a platonic friendship or both be wanting to resume the romance. That doesn't sound like your situation. It seems like you want to resume the romance and he just wants to tease you a bit but not get too involved. That sounds to me like a recipe for heartache. Unless he stops the flirting and you become comfortable with a platonic friendship, I think you're probably better off making a clean break.

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  • Oh bullshit. He’s just keeping you on the back burner so he can drift in and out of your life using you for sex when he can’t find someone else

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    • that's why i cut him off

  • Ew anyone who is overly friendly with an ex after a breakup is usually displaying sociopathic behavior. They want to keep their options around to have someone to fall back on. I usually cut exes out of my life, for their sake as well as mine, unless she was a big part of it. (More than a year relationship.)

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  • Don't be friends with ex's. Not unless both of you want to get back together.

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  • He is just employing mind games with you. Don't fall for his antics, block his number. You have to stand your ground or he will continue to emotionally wreck your mind and heart. Don't engage in his childish games.

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    • I called him out on his games which he denied he is playing them... I told him i am so tired of him going in and out of my life and I cannot take it anymore. i told him it is best we do not talk anymore and get this thing over with forever... he got mad and told me am I done rubbing it in his face? this is the first time I stood up for myself and I told him I am out.

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    • I replied out of courtesy. or he will never ever hear from me.

    • It's hard not be courteous because your not mean like many males and females out there but if someone has done you wrong then you need to bypass that courteous manner and be hurtful as that's the only way he will understand your not joking about your feelings

  • I've been split from my significant other ex high school sweetheart for at least two and a half years now and she's been rekindling it let's say about every 6 months... I know what she's coming for... That's the trick to it she's literally coming for it

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    • are you guys both single? how do you react every time she try to rekindle?

    • No she definitely does not want to rekindle she just wants to keep getting the Kindle if you know what I mean

    • And yes we are both single as far as I know I'm definitely single but I am definitely not alone? I believe she is single as well as single as I am probably :-)

  • No. If someone is not over someone, they don't really want to just be friends. They want to win them back. If they are truly over them, then there's the chance to be friends.

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  • I don’t. Like get out of my life bitch.

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  • give a chance always , no body without mistakes. since he kept contacting you means that he really still have those feelings and respect.

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  • Nope... they all say they do but in very rare cases it works out. It's an easy way to say thanks but no thanks without the hard break.

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  • Nope...

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  • If you get back with an ex... you never broke up

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What Girls Said 10

  • Me and my ex managed to stay really good friends after we broke up!! It took some time for both of us, but we just saw that we didn't see ourselves together in the future. This is the first time happening for both of us that we manage to stay friends after being together. I also thing I wouldn't be able to do it with anybody else. Just while we were together we built a really strong friendship. We even talk about the new people in our lives and we care about each other a lot... still after the separation we never tried getting back together, not even kissed.

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  • They just don't want to be the bad guy, they break up with you and wish you will hope you can still be friends, everyone knows thats not going to happen its too fresh and they just want to feel better and not the enemy.

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  • They do it to keep you around until someone better comes along. By accepting a friendship at that time, you are giving them permission to keep leading you on until the inevitable

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  • Why did he break up with you in the first place if he still has feelings for u? He should make up his mind

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    • he broke up with me coz he felt unappreciated. i was always busy at work and work was taking a toll on me. i was stressed out. he felt i didn't treat him right. but if he was done with me, how many times does he have to keep coming back? he is hurting me with that pattern. I don't want to be just friends. he wants to be friends but he acts like we still together minus the label.

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    • Then it's all up to him now.
      He will either leave u for real or insist to talk to. You should go with the flow
      Since you both still like each other there won't be a relationship unless enough efforts are put from both sides to clear the misunderstandings between u both.
      I wish u all the best 😊🤞

    • he said he won't say hi anymore and he doesn't need this drama in his life when it was him who came back into my life. I stopped contacting him in forever. but he came back on my birthday. thanks

  • They want to be "friends" in hopes of getting back together or having sex, that's all it ever is

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  • It is possible and common to end a relationship because it doesn't work anymore and yet try to keep the person in your life for all. sorts of reasons, e. g. wanting to keep the same friends as before, needing that person in your life because of a specific reason (bought a car together, social network, work together). Bottom line is, you seem to want to be back together and your ex seems to be open to trying again. Whatever that is, it seems the current arrangement isn't healthy for you and it's causing some level of suffering... I'd reconsider having this person around otherwise you two will just pull each other back all the time.

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  • Nah, never

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  • Maybe he is confused as to what he really wants at this time. Perhaps he has a problem communicating what he does want

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    • confused? he acts cool and unbothered every time he contacts me.

  • He just want you around as friends with benefits.

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  • I asked my ex who dumped me if we could be friends he may be my ex but he is someone who I didn't want to lose completely from my life his family to me I would do anything to not lose him

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    • i didn't ask him to be friends with me. he asked me to be friends with him after he dumped me. even after a few months, he still wants to be friends but he keeps flirting with me, telling me he loves me and says he has feelings... that is not being friends. I feel being led on.

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