She wants space - is there a chance?

My girlfriend and I broke up after a year of dating last February. Since February, we have remained exclusive with one another as we’ve tried discussing getting back together.

We tried a few weeks in the summer but were unable to make it work well. We agreed we jumped the gun on trying again and decided to get back to working on ourselves in the hopes of still one day getting back together.

Now, though, it seems as if she is done. A month ago she sounded like this was all over. “I love you but mentally I’m just so discouraged right now.” But two weeks ago we spent time together, slept together and discussed a way forward for the both of us. We wanted to be casual and not feel the pressure of a relationship - needing to talk every day or whatever.

With her schedule so busy, I offered ways to help her. Cook, grab dinner for her, whatever. I was just trying to be nice, but she claimed I was smothering her and pressuring her to be a couple again. It made her feel like our night together was a mistake. She said she still loves me, but she feels anxious, overwhelmed and now wants space from me.

She barely hugs me now when we do see each other, and there’s days that go by where we don’t talk. I’m letting her initiate all contact with us, but even when she does reach out to talk it is like she doesn’t even want to talk or is just texting me out of pity. I’m so confused. How can she say she still loves me but show nothing and barely carry a convo?


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Your friend has said (in many ways) she is done with any romantic concepts of the relationship.

    At this point you need to decide if you would rather be her friend with absolutely zero chance of romance, or her ex that she runs into at the grocery store once about 5 years from now.

    Either way works, and both require that you stop initiating contact entirely, and wait for her to do it.

    If she wants the friendship you'll hear from her before Thanksgiving. And probably sooner if she wants to be involved.

    If you decide you want friendship, but don't hear from her call her after Thanksgiving weekend.

    I'm sorry for your loss. Hopefully you can grow from it.


What Guys Said 1

Recommended myTakes