I'm heading over tomorrow to tell him to stop talking to me, because even tho we kept in contact I can't cope.
I have felt shit for ages (4 months approximately) and I keep having panic attacks. what's the best way to get over him? I just want to feel confident and happy again.
Most Helpful Guy
Every individual is different - There will just come a time when you think less and less about them but that said the no contact is important especially if split was not that straightforward through mutual consent.0
Most Helpful Girl
What has helped me with anxiety and panic attacks is meditating. If you've ever been to a therapist for these issues, they've most likely told you to focus on your breathing and taught you breathing techniques. A big part of meditation is about breathing correctly and focusing on it. I use an app called Headspace, they have plenty of guided meditations that range from 1 minute to 15 or 20. So it's not like you have to dedicate a good chunk of your day to just meditating, you can feel a little bit better within just 10 minutes. It takes a while to learn and get used to, but once you've started mastering it, it can really change your perspective on things and help keep you calm throughout the day.
Otherwise I would suggest spending as much time as you need with your friends and family. Having human contact regularly will help with the potential loneliness, and it will also keep your mind off of things, even if just for a little bit. It will also give you the chance to talk things out with a third party (if you feel like it) which might help you in the process.
Being active also helps. When you're working out and really focusing, you don't have the time to think about anything else. I feel like taking dance classes is extremely good for this, because you'll be focusing on getting the choreography right. Plus you'll be listening to some good tunes and the atmosphere in the room will probably be really positive. Not to mention that there's actual proof that working out makes you feel happy, since your body is releasing a ton of endorphins.
And if you really want to get over him, you need to actively try. It sounds weird when I say it like that, because usually we feel like we're not in control over our feelings and getting over someone means just giving it time. Which is true, you can't get over him in just a day by following my instructions. Time is definitely a key aspect of getting over someone. But what I mean is that you need to keep doing other things, you need to keep living a normal life and having routines. If you succumb to your sadness and you stay in bed all day every day, you're not exactly doing yourself a favor - you're not helping yourself get over him. You need to actively do other things, things that make you feel good in the long run, even if you feel like you don't have the energy or you don't want to see anyone. Once you get over that threshold of "boo I don't want to do this I just want to mope", you're gonna be thankful...0