I recently found out my (now ex) boyfriend of 5 months has been in another relationship for the past 5 years. How do I get over the hurt?

I went through his phone while he was sleeping and found texts from the other girl. When I confronted him he said it was just harmless flirting and they where just friends. I didn’t believe him so I told him to pack his things & kicked him out of my flat. I went through his Facebook and found the girl he was flirting with and she told me they’ve been together since 2012 and she’s just as shocked and hurt by the fact that he was seeing me these past few months behind her back.

I’ve gone ahead and blocked him everywhere but he still finds ways to text me messages about how he’s sorry and misses me because I’m the love of his life but yesterday while talking to the other girl she sent me screenshots of how he’s been texting her similar messages.

I’m utterly destroyed bc I was really inlove with him and he was partly living with me as he was homeless and jobless. I really miss him and he’s company because I feel that apart from the cheating our relationship was the best relationship I’ve ever been in. I hate him so much right now because he lied and used me and hurt me so much with infidelity and don’t want him back but I still love him and can’t get him out of my head.

Whats worse , we’re both in college and studying the same thing so I’m forced to see him all the time and when I do , he tells me he still loves me and etc. I know I need to get over him but how can I when I still love him so much?


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What Guys Said 3

  • I usually recommend that people try to avoid hating an ex because hate can consume you without harming the object of your hate at all. In this case, I will make an exception. This boy is worthy of the greatest opprobrium and condemnation and a fitting object to be hated.

    You need to realize that you were not in love with him but you were in love with the image which he carefully managed and manipulated. The guy who you loved was an invented character designed to maximize your use to this guy behind the image.

    Go get yourself tested for STD's. You know of one other girl but there may have been others. Tape the invoice for the testing to your mirror and remind yourself of why that was necessary. Perhaps that will help you to resolve your feelings.

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  • My last girlfriend cheated on me 4 times with 4 different people. Honestly, it just takes time. Just realize it wasn't you, they're just bad people.

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  • Learn

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