Do people who initiate breakups also feel hurt on the inside?


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What Guys Said 23

  • Depends on the situation. If it's because they just don't feel the same way anymore and they want out, it upsets them they have to hurt someone that hasn't done anything wrong. Break ups stink for all involved at least at little most of the time, even if you know it's what's best. When we break up with someone, our brains release the same chemicals and hormones it releases when a person close to you passes away. You go through the stages of grief when it happens. Even if you're the one who initiates it.

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  • I always have. The reason I would breakup with someone is because they have hurt me enough that I realize it's not good to be with them. At the exact moment of the breakup, it's probably not quite as hard for the one initiating it because they've already started dealing with the fact that it isn't working out, but overall I think I've felt just as hurt in the relationships I ended as the ones where the woman did.

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  • Yeah my girlfriend broke up with me and she and she texted me a month later saying she misses me and thats she wanted to be in a relationship again
    But i diddnt want that
    you'll never really know if they are hurt on not

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  • I don't believe they do. Breaking up is an incredibly selfish act, same with divorce. But when it comes to things like abuse and the like some times you gotta do what yp u gotta do.

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  • when broke up with my ex i was already hurting, so when it was time to let her go i was already on the process of moving on.

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  • Yes, if you've been committed to eachother and it ends for what seems like no reason. Chances are the other one is hurting.

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  • I just did a breakup. Probably the hardest one I've had to do.

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  • In one hand you'll feel released and free before you get out of a relationship that it was going to hell. In the other hand you feel the link cutted, feel more alone and bad for the other.

    Some relationships had an ending set, usually the ones that are in the distance. For having a deeper one is needed to get used to the other and to share the experience of living. The couple have to fuck in a fisical, emotional and spiritual way.

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  • They are scared of getting rejected.

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  • No..

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  • Some do

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  • Supposedly. Not that I believe it.

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  • Absolutely baby or her cuz they couldn't make it work or whatever the situation may be either hurt definitely

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  • Depends on the reason for the breakup

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  • Even if it's deserved yes Who ever initiate to break up does feel bad about it because The other isn't the only half that's losing somebody they've been with...

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  • Sometimes but they don't feel as hurt as a person that's being broke up with

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  • An extremely cold person if it doesn't.

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  • Im sure she was happy leaving me when I was in the middle of killing myself
    No they're cold

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  • Yes they do

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  • I initiated a divorce after 15 years of marriage. I cry thinking about it at least once a week.

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  • Typically yeah depending on the situation or cause of breakup

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  • Sometimes.

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  • Yea it can hurt a lot, I just broke up my ex and it was me who had to break it off. She was really unhappy and wanted me to change and I didn't want to as I'm happy with who I am. We were unhappy and it felt like I had that breakup hurt every other day so I felt like the best thing to do was end it.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I broke up with a guy I had been living with once. The year and a half before it had felt more like a friendship than relationship and I thought he would feel the same - that the relationship had run its course.

    So when I sat down and spoke to him, I expected him to agree that it made more sense to end it and just be friends, but it seemed to take him by surprise and even though he was really cool about it, I could see how bad it hurt him.

    It really upset me. I cried for three days on and off - not just because it hurt him, but because it was the end to another chapter of my life. That's always kind of sad. Even if you've been in a horrible relationship, which mine really wasn't, it's gonna hurt when you end it.

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  • Depends on how you define "hurt", and also depends on the situation in general.
    It's not fun to initiate a breakup, especially if you know that your partner still has feelings for you. So you might feel hurt in the sense that you know you're causing someone else pain, and it makes you feel bad. Or, maybe if the breakup is initiated because of factors other than lost feelings (such as distance, differing life stages or lifestyles etc), then the person initiating the break up feels hurt because they still have feelings, but know it's the right choice because the relationship isn't working/won't work in the near future.
    But if the relationship has been extremely draining and the person breaking up is 100% over it, they might even feel happy or relieved that it's over.
    So, like I said, depends on the person and the situation.

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  • Yes. I always felt hurt. Once I dumped a guy and loved him for 4 another years. What a weiro!

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  • Sometimes and mainly my first boyfriend at college did broke up with me to go out with another girl and very annoyed and when to Rip up his pics.

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  • Yes, It hurts more of them to admit to the other that they dont feel the same.

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  • I don't think so

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  • Its a very hard thing to do to have to break up with someone there is only one who I broke up with who I didn't feel bad because of the way he had treated me. The others that I broke up with I felt bad for them and with one I was hurt to break up with him,

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