Most Helpful Guy
For me, it was a few things that really helped in my case.
A. we had only dated at most for a month or two when she “ghosted.”
B. I found out from some friends that she had been cheating on me since pretty much the beginning.
C. We MAYBE had a few months of dating, at most; more like two or three total. I hadn’t fallen that hard yet.
D. I was still in college, and had a demanding schedule. I couldn’t really afford to pine after her, even if I was the type to fall hard that quickly.
E. If a woman cheats, and I find out, I’m done. I am out. I had written a break up note, so I guess I saw that as a conclusion to the relationship before the official break up call.
I guess I probably lucked out in that I had a bunch of things that made the break up pretty easy to handle.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
There is one very apparent issue here. The fact that you needed him to "make you a better person". This is extremely unhealthy. Just reading the first bit of your question already shows me you relied way way too much on him to make you feel good or better about yourself. You "needed" him to cope and to feel OK. You should never ever NEED someone to feel or be OK with yourself. I feel like this relationship should actually be something you should learn something out of - which is that you should never rely on someone else to make you happy. You made him your everything and when he left - you felt like you had nothing which is why you are struggling. I am completely speaking as someone who went through the exact same thing in my last relationship where my ex was my all and everything. Only afterwards did I realize how toxic and unhealthy it is to invest your all into someone.
You said yourself this is your first breakup so yes, it will hurt and yes it will take LOTS of time. Especially in your case where your life was all about him and how good he made you feel. You have more than 1 problem at hand which is why this is worse for you.
My suggesstion is to really start focusing on yourself and building yourself up and having way more confidence and self love. Prepare yourself to become the best version of yourself. Every day do something for yourself and to help you grow or enrich your life in some way and learn the art of self love and self appreciation. Use this time as a single person to work on yourself. Also STOP snooping if you are currently doing this with him!!! No social media stalking, no talking to him and no giving him any power or time. You will never heal if you do not decide to put him completely 100% behind you and this includes removing triggers x3THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE