Boyfriend is grieving, should I stay or go?

It’s an incredibly long story and since there’s a character limit and I’ll try to make it short. My boyfriend of almost a year’s brother just committed suicide about two weeks ago. As you can imagine he is completely shattered andI have been spending every day with him and his family during the greiving process and the funeral. From the beginning there has been no doubt in my mind that I am going to stay here with himThrough all of this and be there in anyway that I can. Yes I love him with all of my heart and It hurts to see him suffering. Last night he got drunk and told me that he wants to be alone right now and doesn’t know if he even wants to be in a relationship. He says that he loves me very much and that he is very thankful for everything that I’ve done for him and his family during these last few weeks, but that it feels bad that he knows that I’m in love with him and he can feel it but that he is not in love with me yet. I told him that these things take time and then I don’t expect him to be in love with me right now or even to be able to process his feelings, but that if he really does not want me to be here then he will have to tell me to leave. He says that at this point he is completely numb inside and that it doesn’t really matter if I stay or go. With the love that I have for him I don’t know if he is just speaking because he’s heartbroken and in grief or if I should take this as a sign to leave. I know that unconditional love means being there through thick and thin and that is what I want to do, but how can I be there for somebody who won’t let me actually do it? I have never met anybody as loving and caring as him in my life. I don’t want to lose him and I have faith that one day he will realize that I’ve been with him through The most difficult situation of his life... What should I do? I am completely at a loss


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What Guys Said 3

  • Just stay and support him, he just lost someone so obviously his mind isn’t on the straight and narrow but the beaten and probably lost path right now. Be the woman that slowly but surely guides him back into the straight and narrow path and don’t give up when things are going hard.

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  • He knows you're being good and kind to him but with everything going on I don't think he thinks he can do the same for you. If he said that you can decide to stay or go than you should stay. He'll come around. If he really wanted you to leave he would have made you

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  • He's in shock, give that man a break.
    His brother died.
    He has idea what he's saying.

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