Can a relationship start off this way?

Well obviously this is probably a typical situation for all your "players" out there. But I've been having sexual relations with this one particular fellow and in my opinion he's a total catch. But all it's been was strictly sex. And sure it's all fun and games in the moment but after I start to think about it and I feel really bad about myself as person. Keep in mind I don't have a overloaded black book, this guy is my only friend with benefits. Of course at the being we came to the conclusion that this was the kind of relationship we'd have with each other and I was cool with it then. But typically I've developed feelings for this guy. Plus there's quite an age difference between us, he's 27 and I'm 18. So I'm not really sure if I should pursue this.

All I really want to know is what a guys perspective on this is. And if it's a good idea to keep going along with it or just forget about it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A friends with benefit is an informal business deal. It's only supposed to be mutual sex where both parties are satisfied sexually. The people are supposed to greet each other, have great sex, and move on with their daily rituals. Like any business agreement, terms can change. You are going to have to make him an offer with lots of incentives ( Why do you want more and how is he going to benefit?). However, once making the offer you do risk terminating all agreements since it could be awkward. Ultimately, it depends on you. If you are not satisfied with the current contract with him, make him your new offer. If he denies you, at least you can move on.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Forget about it, and stop doing it! The chances of the two of you having a successful, long term, committed relationship, outside of sex, is very slim.

    Sure he's a catch . . . for someone his own age, not for you. You are at two completely different places in your lives right now. There's so much to be said on this topic, but it would all come down to one thing. You're difference in your age is to great for your current age. If you were already 30, it wouldn't be a big deal. You need these years in your 20s to figure who you are and what you want to do with your life. He's already had that opportunity.

    You should end the relationship and find someone closer to your own age to be with.

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  • Once your feelings change in a relationship, you need to be forthcoming.

    The reason is, no matter how much you try to compartmentalize those feelings, they are going to affect how you act, how you think, how you feel, and especially how you interpret things he does.

    So tell him now, let him know what you're feeling and that you want more, so that the two of you can decide where to go from here.

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  • Yes a realtioship can start with just sex, if he is capable of forming an emotional bond with you. Signs might be, he starts acting like a couple, including the sex, initmacy, dating, spending time with you, dating etc...

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What Girls Said 1

  • -if you think you know who you are and you know what you want than age might not be that big of a difference. My boyfriend's ex dated someone who was 8 years older than her when she was 18 (she's not 22 and he's 30)... but she dated my boyfriend for about 3 years and knew who she wanted and who she was by that time (she wanted sex, money, go to raves, and drugs-both weed and alcohol). So she got what she wanted with him... anyways... they are still together after like... 4 years (?)... but it wasn't FWB because she's the type that likes a long term boyfriend... anyways... what you need to do with this guy is show him how compatible you guys are (how much you have in common)... and then ask him if he likes that and if he likes you and just plain out ask him if you could be his girlfriend that would be awesome... good luck

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