okay so i had my first boyfriend this year. we talked from may to June, then he asked me out and we dated for awhile, he broke up with me in September. it was great for the most part. we got along, we had so much in common, everything about it felt right, but in the last week or so of the relationship, i could feel him pushing me away and ignoring me. (obviously) we had always had some problems with communication, we would have problems but not tell each other about it for a while but i had started to get better at it. i would come to him and say "hey this is bothering me, let's talk about it" and we would and it'd be fine. he wouldn't tho, he kept to himself which led to him not talking to me about how he didn't like how he didn't feel that i was completely myself around him and this led to him dumping me. that's the basic overview of the relationship. the breakup went probably as well as a breakup can go, he was extremely sweet and kind throughout the whole thing and it was really hurting him too, he just didn't feel the same way anymore and he didn't want that to continue because it would hurt me. so i'm asking for advice on that and just help getting over him in general because i loved him, he didn't love me and i know that for a fact. so that's hard enough, right? well then today i found out he likes the girl he was "almost dating" before he dated me. they were almost a thing but she got back with her ex before they actually did. she hurt him really bad and i thought he didn't like her at all anymore, he talked about hating her to me when we were dating. i guess his feelings never faded and im wondering if he still had feelings for her when we were together. this is just really hard for me to deal with bc i've always compared myself to her anyway and now he likes her again and its like a shot to the heart. it hurts a lot. also i'm depressed af and a lot of other stuff is going on in my life so this isn't helping at all. any help would be appreciated.
Most Helpful Guy
Your still young the first always hurts the most just accept the reality of the situation and move on there ain't much else you can do0
Most Helpful Girl
When you spoke to him about your issues with him or a situation how did you word it exactly? Was it like "You haven't been putting in a lot of effort into me" (as an example) OR "I feel like we are growing distant and the relationship isn't as strong as it use to be" ... Do you see the difference? If you worded it like the 1st one he will feel on the defensive side, wanting to protect his ego and his esteem so what would he do? Push you away, stop listening or argue with you. Being upfront about your problems is fine but it does scare people when you say there's an issue... scares everyone thinking they hurt someone! But just pointing that out since communication issues are a secondary concern. Perhaps this was the reason why he did break up with you but if you have courage you can ask him. Also perhaps in your next relationship or if you want to get back together you can work on this; your only 15 so its fine!
About the split with him... if you do like him a lot I suggest you keep your distance from him as hard as it sounds. Work on yourself and build yourself up to be a beautiful, funny and enjoyable girl 😊 there's no better investment in a relationship like yourself