Why is my cheating ex angry at me for going through this messages?

I found out that my ex boyfriend, whom I lost my virginity to, was cheating on me last week. We had a long distance relationship and I would go and visit him every two months. We had been dating for approximately 6 months.
I had started noticing little red flags and signs that there was something up. I went to visit him last week and noticed that he was constantly texting on his phone and kept it very close to him. Even when we were in bed hugging, he had the phone in his other hand.

A week prior to I went to see him I saw a girl had tagged him in a picture where she seemed to hold on very tight to him. I didn't say anything at the time but got a weird feeling in my stomach.

When I went to visit him, I decided to go through this facebook messages and saw that the same girl had sent him lots of heart emojis. I scrolled up further and saw that he had sent her a picture of his dick and that they had slept together.

After I confronted my ex about it, he apologised but then got angry at me for going through his messages. He said I had no right to do that and that I should apologise to him.

Why would my ex turn the tables on me and get angry at me for going through his messages? Wouldn't you have done the same if you were in my situation? I feel so incredibly hurt and sad about the whole situation.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Oops, outed by technology. I guess you shouldn't have seen it but you did and now he's been called out for the douchebag that he is.

    • I'm glad I found out about it. But what bugs me is that he is acting like he is the victim now when I'm the one who is hurt and feel awful..

    • Show All
    • In general, you don't want to be a snoop. It works against the relationship. But no matter what, because of technology, things come before eyes that causes you to scroll up a little bit more and scroll up just a little bit more and unravel a truth that they never meant for you to know. Sounds like he needs to get a better password for his phone. So don't feel bad about the Privacy intrusion even though it's not the best practice in my opinion I'm definitely glad you found out.

    • I'm very happy to help you feel a bit better about the situation. If you need any more advice or have any questions at all just let me know, you're basically in a miniature situation of a huge clusterfuck of a situation that I've been in for years. A 12-year marriage turned divorce with two children and a serial cheating wife. Multiple affairs. I was way too trusting. Take a sharpie marker and write stupid on my forehead.

  • don't waste your energy on him, you deserve better.

    • I know I do. Thank you so much!

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