I feel bad and worried about my SO post breakup - what to do?

Me and my SO broke up yesterday - it was a toxic relationship and I was being blamed for everything, even when he started it. We were only together for 3 months, but the last month was just arguing - we had broken up and got back together twice.

He had issues and was very insecure. This time he was the one that said he’s out and walking away because ‘it’s my fault’, but I’ve done nothing but be supportive. As soon as it ended, he deleted my number, even my LinkedIn, which I thought was quite extreme. And I know he’s all on his own and he’s always felt lonely throughout his life because his dad died when he was only 17 and his mum and sister doesn’t care about him at all. He told me before he said he’s walking away how he is two strokes away from suicide. When we kept arguing and I was being attacked with his words for solid 6 hours, I just said I want to stop fighting, let’s stop. And all he said was ‘ok I’m out’ and that was it.

I want to call him to make sure he’s ok, but I know it was toxic and I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but worry about him even though he’s 34 and I’m 28. I’m just scared he’s going to do something because he doesn’t have friends, is always on his own, he’s also seeing a therapist too.

What should I do? He’s deleted me off everything as if I never existed in his life, whereas I still have his number etc. I thought I was fine with the breakup after my mum talked sense to me, but I woke up this morning feeling very guilty and my heart hurts because I’m worried about him as I still do care, but he obviously doesn’t want anything to do with me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Relationships based on taking care of the other person are never a good idea. It wasn´t true love and I understand how you feel, as I´ve been in a 3,5y relationship which sounded a lot like yours. Most likely he´ll be okay and become a stronger person because of that breakup. If he can´t own up to his own mistakes, there´s nothing you can nor should do about it. Let him be and have some faith :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • He is a adult. A grown man. It is not your responsbility to make him OK or to make things right. He chose to end the relationship and to then go and cut you off. I know there was problems that may have triggered him but that is his problem and it is not your job to crawl back after you got dumped.

    You two are not compatible at all and he still has a lot of work to do on his own if he ever wishes to have a normal and healthy adult relationship x


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What Girls Said 1

  • Like you said. He always blamed you for everything. I think maybe that's why you're feeling guilty?
    But don't text him or anything. He should've appreciated what you've done for him but he didn't. And he obviously doesn't care and didn't respect what you had. You're better off without him. And also, he's an adult. He should know what he's doing. Don't waste your time over someone who doesn't care about you.


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