Can't Stop The Pain :*(

He left. For some time now. But he once in a while makes an appearance in my email or my FB (like or lame comment). I'm in a lot of pain. I can't imagine myself with anyone else, and I can't understand how he can feel different. We planned a future together and then he just decided to take off. We are LDR. Each day seems to get worse instead of better. I can't really delete/block him because I have a work page that he can always see. How do I move on? And why hasn't he?

PS I am in N/C with him at the moment. He did some stuff that was really hurtful. intentional.. and he knows it.. and I think it's best I don't respond (I have nothing nice to say). I just miss him so much. Wish we could go back.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I too was in an LDR and even though my ex and me still communicate, nothing is the same, so I understand how you feel. It is hard especially when you cannot see each other. The thing is, he broke up the relationship and is still lingering about, neither in your life or out of it. The fact that you have had no closure and are still hurting is because, the person who does the ending, is the one to get closure first, while the one left behind, takes a lot longer for to heal and move on.

    At the moment you are doing the nc, which sometimes works. The thing is the longer you leave it feelings can subside. You could leave it for two weeks then contact him, just saying hi and how are you? But leave it at that. If there was a way for you to meet up with him when the time was right, then you may stand a chance, as I am sure memories will come flooding back if he saw you.

    For the time being your best keeping busy, go out with friends and enjoy life. Don't sit at home wondering and wishing things back, you can't go there, just go forward. Why not take up a new hobby or interest. Meet new people, learn a new language. There is so much out there.


    The link above, is for a website that is free to join and most of the activities are free as well.

    I really wish you the best and don't rush anything. Rome wasn't built in a day, so be patient with yourself. Take care

    • Thanks for your really nice response. I felt the same way, too much time passing.. I felt that already happened. I tried reaching out to him last week, it seemed ok... and then he got strange again (maybe we got too close?) so he distanced himself and blew me off. I was supposed to see him next month but he told me not to come, when he agreed it was already OK :(( I know if he saw me he wouldn't be able to do this. thanks again.

    • Show All
    • My ex is told me as well that he wants to 'see' people, as he would put it, from his own country. The thing is we too discussed about who would move to be with the other one and it wad me. He would have had to take a cut in wages if he lived in my country & fact is is I work freelance so it seemed the right thing to do. Am still moving over but to another part of the country. I have no hope of us ever getting back, still a part of me hopes too.

    • Here it was reversed. he promised to come here. we were fine & happy then he was gone. just like that. today he's made 3 large efforts (about past work) to contact me. hours apart. what is he thinking? scapegoat for what he really wants to say? or ? idk!! I just feel just as hurt now, because he's not owning.. he's just acting like NOTHING happened now & wants to pick up from? where? he intentionally hurt me the last days.. now this? I haven't responded. ... confused.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Delete patient...then look for a guy who cares about you for this guy doesn't seem to, for he intentionally does hurtful things to you...that's not a caring thing to do...

  • I agree with other posters. Delete him from your facebook friends.

  • Its hard to move on if you are in touch, it will be hard, but if you want him back then try and deal with the issues if you can that led him to be an ex

    • Thanks. I wish I would know what they were. we (I thought), were on good terms. he was supposed to move here. then one day poof, he was gone, changed his mind. last I knew I was all he wanted. now he's contacting me here and there for different topics (but not about "us") and I havent' really responded at all; I don't know what to make of it. he's intentionally been trying to hurt me (successfully). I just don't know what to do.

What Girls Said 2

  • NC is NC. That includes blocking your FB or deactivating. Can't you block him from seeing your work page, too? I've been there and any contact, even if its through facebook will keep it an open wound.

  • I know how does it feel. It really hurts when you know that you love him and then he just changes his mind. My ex left me and found a new girlfriend, I stayed at home depressed and crying almost all day. He did things to hurt me and when I saw that I realized how could you love someone who wants to hurt you. You deserve someone who takes care of you and loves you. Take the control of your life and move on. Meet new people, keep busy and try to do fun things everyday. Delete on facebook. (facebook is a real pain in the ass with relationships)

    • You're right. thank you. sorry for you too.

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