How do I get an ex back?

can anyone share some good tips that got their ex back and how long did it take?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't. You move on. A guy isn't going to want a girl who is groveling and can't be happy without him. A guy wants a confident woman who can stand on her own, with or without him. Guys want a girl who can say "I was happy before you and be damn sure I'll be happy after you." And mean it. Pretending to be confident to win a guy back doesn't work either.

    What you (and the other commenter) need to focus on is you. Who cares about the ex. Seriously, you WILL find another guy. It's not even a "if" more along the lines of when. And the truth is, when you are happy, and settled and healthy and in a good place for YOU as an individual, you will attract someone who is in the same boat and THAT is a relationship that will flourish.

    Stop focusing on missing your ex. Stop thinking about what you miss about them. Think about the REALITY. Why did you guys break up. What were your fights about? Were you constantly fighting? Were you always going to your friends with advice about how to "make it better?" Ask your friends their perspective. Did they feel like you guys fought a lot? And just because it didn't work with this guy, doesn't mean it won't work with another.

    Hey, man, I am newly single after a 2+ year relationship. I lived with the guy for almost two years. I had pets with him. I moved to a new city far away from home with him. So I promise, I understand the lonliness, if not moreso as I don't even have my closest friends and family. But I'm happy! It was sad, it hurt, I felt lost, but then you wake up and brush off and move on. You go out and meet new friends or focus on old ones. And that DOES NOT mean talking their ear off about how sad and lonely you are. That means putting yourself into whatever activity is before you (work, hobbies, going out).

    And WHEN you have moved on, your guys will probably come back. They'll see a confident woman who doesn't need them, and they'll want to win you back. The real beauty is, at that point, you won't even want them back.

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    • I know this is so true and I want this more then anything, but I just can't seem to get over it. We were together for two years and he left me without an explanation, just nothing. He has treated the entire break up in such an awful way, which makes it harder. I want to move on, so badly, but I just can't seem to do so. I guess it's just hard because our relationship was doing pretty well and he told me all the time how in love he was and then the next he was gone.

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    • You need to think about WHY it didn't work out. Yes, it seems sudden to you, but it probably wasn't for him. He may have been looking for an out for a little bit. I'm sorry to even say that to you, but it's true, and also why the dumper seems to move on so flawlessly - the truth usually is they already have. You need to try and be VERY honest with yourself and try writing down some of the issues you had in the relationship.

    • I know I have stuff to figure out and I am really trying, trust me. I just would have thought after two months it would have gotten better, but obviously it still hasn't and I think that scares me a bit. I know I have to make myself priority, its just hard when some else has been for the past two years! Thanks a lot though for your advice.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It depends. That is my answer for a lot of questions really. It depends on who she is and who he is. It depends on why you two split in the first place. Was it a messy breakup or was it a nice talk where you both agree that the timing isn't right?

    I don't have a rebound when I break up. I go about my business like I did before I started dating. I hang out with my friends to fill any void of time and concentrate on the next project like painting my house.

    I try to understand what I saw in that person to begin with. Get something positive out of it and remember that. They were creative, or witty, or used to make me laugh by making faces. Eventually you will find the same qualities in other boyfriends and maybe form a list of things you want your ideal person to have. The more of those qualities they have, the better they are a match for you.

    Just remember that it takes two to tango and hope that you are what they are looking for as well. If not then you might love the other more than they love you back. I feel that everything happens for a reason even if we don't know why. You may find the answer later in life or perhaps the lesson was meant for the other person.

    Follow your heart, it will guide you. Listen to your head, it will help you understand the situation around you. Follow your feet if things get abusive. Listen to your gut, it will steer you clear of most dangers. And keep positive because the good vibes you send out will be received.

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  • Depends on how you left it off. Most of the time at that point your ex will just want to bang and dip.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You have to ask yourself why he originally left to begin with. If he is truly over you, then there is absolutely nothing you can do. Because he has made up his mind. You don't need the heartache and trouble he is going to cause. Sometimes it's best to just pick up and move on. I know it will be really hard but who knows, maybe when you start moving on and pulling yourself together he will see this and could come back. But you should move on for yourself, not for him. My roommate broke up with her long term boyfriend for awhile to take personal time. They are both back together because she came to terms with being happy with herself and not because of him. He is absolutely crazy about her. But she always tells me that at the end of the day it's about friendships first and relationships second. So to help you move on, I'd meet up with some friends and just really throw yourself into something that is deserving on your time. And you never know what could happen. But at least you'll have a greater understanding of yourself and be capable of coping with the break up.

    Good Luck.

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  • The end of a relationship is like a game. Whoever dumps the other first, wins. If you let yourself wallow in self-pity over a boy who clearly wasn't meant for you, he wins. Do you want that?

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