*how = who
I feel like it's the other way around, my exes always want to live in the moment and take what life is throwing to you. I'm all about past , present and future thoughts.
Sorry if I'm being nosy, but how did talking to multiple guys make it worse?
It made it worse because I went looking for someone better than him and found the opposite. Every guy I talked to after was just a waste of time. All I could think about was him.
But, I think these are just the men in my area. I don't know if it's a gender thing. And I mean, how do we determine who "got over" who? Getting into new relationships? Because that's not a good indicator, considering many are just rebounds. or being used to forget their ex.Is it by who's going out and smiling again? Not a good indicator either because many people do so top distract themselves or "fake it till you make it".I don't think there's a definitive answer, nor is it gendered.
Also the one who initiated the breakup has most likely been thinking about it for a while. Like a few months, maybe even a year if they’ve really been dragging it out. And then they might find someone else very quickly and make it seem like they were over their old relationship in a heartbeat. But the reality is that they were losing feelings and getting over the relationship long before the *actual* breakup. So I def agree with you, it’s impossible to ”measure” how fast someone gets over someone else.
@lumos yes that's also true. There really isn't a good way to measure it. It's too subjective to quantify.
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I agree with absolutely everything you said except the part about it being easier for the chick to get a new guy.
@ManOnFire I'm the early stages guys almost always have their work cut out for them (and for most of us it's a pain in the ass). We tend to forget that when we are in a long term relationship and our physical needs are being met. The feeling of going back to drawing board is much harder for single guys. At least newly single women will have guys approaching them still.
thanks for MHO. Too bad the one female who downvoted couldn't give a reason why.
@lumos Consider: it's women who think they can get a man easy any time they want, so they would be the ones to view men as expendable and relationships as a marketplace. And if they're not getting entertained or fulfilled they're more ready to drop it, and not caring if they've really fulfilled the guy or not.
@lumos Girl, don't entertain this bullshit haha, just keep it moving.
your other posts were shit and taking a month to get over someone is literally nothing haha try years. The stronger the bond you attempt to form, the larger the fallout, so the amt of time you spend getting over it is directly proportional to how invested you were. I seek to form incredibly strong bonds with people, I can cut em in an instant physically if they are poisoning me but mentally it lives on for a very long time...
@Goochbreaker I never stated my month to get over it as being better or worse than someone elses. It was just my story. That was my experience. I never tried to make it more important than anyone else's situation/circumstances.
sorry I'm just a callous asshole who realized the dark side of woman at the young age of 15 when this stupid slut manipulated me and my best friend and then the one of us that won her (me) got fkd over by another guy in a few weeks time HAHAHAH and it's just been downhill from there... I'm fucking sick of all the fake shit and if you only take a month to get over someone then you were never really with them or are suppressing the emotions in my opinion. I'm only looking for real relationships now and what I've found is that NOBODY ELSE IS at least not people of my race LOL (the suicidal one, you guessed it, white people)
Nothing is easy about getting a good man though and serious, long-lasting relationships are hard to come by. Nothing is expendable about that.
@lumos it may not be easy to spot and find a good man these days BUT once you find one, as a woman, it's definitely easy to keep them, if they are indeed a good man. I mean it. It's really quite simple we just make it complicated because we are all lost children in some sense. Give him your undying loyalty, and demand nothing less in return. Once that exchange is made, everything should be good to go. If you want to FIND a GOOD man as a woman, let me help youDon't drink alcohol. This is the most important step. Don't go to clubs/bars. Don't have sex. Stay a virgin if you can. The highest quality man will want the highest quality woman and that is one who has not been physically and emotionally used/abused. Don't be a fuckbois fucktoy, EVER. Don't dress like a slut. Good guys don't want a slut or someone who looks like oneDon't play games of any kind, your honesty will startle most and get you flack but will also be your greatest ally in finding who you seek.good luck
@Goochbreaker I did none of those things for the first 20 years of my life and it still took me 20 years to find my first boyfriend lol. Contrary to popular belief, good men don't just throw themselves at every good woman they see.
@lumos They really don't. And a lot of men who think they're one of the 'good ones' actually are not in the least bit.
@lumos then you did it right lumos, and congratulations by the way :)
@EllieAyye I always welcome everyone's cooments, even if I don't agree with them and they don't agree with me. We can even debate about them, I'm okay with that. But I don't like the constant spam assaults on everything I post or answer. It gives me nothing real to chew on. Just petulance. You disguise your comments as just jeering at me, when you're really just bothered by things I say while you try to make it like it's the other way around. I'm no fool. I've had experience with personalities like yours. Look inside your mind, you'll see.You once said you were worried about being single forever. Maybe you have to look at yourself.
@Goochbreaker If the circumstances for which things ended were different, maybe I would've been broken longer. But what happened hurt but I was also strong enough to not let it kill me for very long.
@lumos That may be how you see it, but other women view men as easy to obtain and just as easy to get rid of.
Sexually perhaps but I have yet to see someone easily obtain a serious relationship and just as easily get rid of it. If a girl behaves that way, then the relationship was hardly even serious from the start. There's a heavy bias behind your words.
@lumos Bias based on what?
Based on the heavy generalization of men falling harder/being more invested, women loving being in love/having the status/having short attention spans... quite frankly that’s really rude and doesn’t even apply to most women. Also I think it’s extremely rude for you to speak on the behalf of women when you’re not even a woman yourself. You don’t know what we feel or think.
@lumos As a guy you can know how women work when you've had experience with them.
Then your experience must be quite limited since you're definitely not even close to talking about the majority of women.
Also considering how you can't quantify feelings, it's quite a heavy accusation to make when you say that women don't fall as hard or that we have short attention spans when it comes to love.
@lumos It doesn't have to be the majority of them, but enough to know what I'm talking about.
Clearly you don't know what you're talking about though since literally nobody has agreed with you so far... like I said you can't quantify feelings and you don't know how women feel when they're in love sooo
@lumos Whether anyone here agrees with me or not doesn't change my mind. I've been on other sites before where they did. None of that really matters.
Probs because those sites contained men equally biased as you! ;D
@lumos Lol. There were actually some females too. Even in real life things are different from here.
But i guess i wasn't in love with them except my ex husband lol.. also i find it really easy to get over someone if i jus think there an arsehole lol and focus on all the shit things they did lol it makes it really easy to walk away... or run away lol and hide forever lmao
That's bullshit. You're using your personal experience to make a judgement. Everyone's different and depends on the situation.
@Kkaos I’m going on far more than my own personal experience.
Ok, you're basing it on your experience and the experience of your over emotional effeminate friends. It entirely depends on who cared the most in the relationship and who was more committed. Sometimes that's the guy, other times it's the girl. There are far too many male players our there who break girls hearts for what you're saying to be true.
Got some statistics to back that up?
@Kkaos I just used critical thinking, helps a lot
You used the exact opposite of critical thinking. You used your personal bleeding heart past to make a flawed statement. If you used critical thinking you would have statistics that back up your decision. Of which there are none, because everyone is different and it depends on the situation.
@Kkaos I don't have a bleeding heart