Am I To Blame For The Break Up Of My Relationship?

For some back-round information my boyfriend and I have been together since I have been 17. Four years later we are living together and also have a cat together whom I love. My boyfriend is a great guy -to people other than me. He has done so many hurtful things to me that have never been resolved. I constantly bottle them up because confronting him leads to break things. Well last night I brought up something that had happened in the past that he had done. I know its not okay to play that card, but it just flew out of my mouth. He flipped and called me a c*nt. He freaked because I was bringing up the past. I then got upset because he called me a c*nt and then I started to cry. I guess I was looking for resolution, or maybe I was just obsessing. I then left the room, turned on the computer, and saw p*rn. Heated, I went into the bedroom where he was laying down and freaked over it. He said "I swear to effing g*d that I wasn't looking at it". Well regardless of whether it was really a pop-up or not I sat on the bed and tried to talk to him. He said leave to leave him alone so he can sleep -what he always says. Well I decided not to this time. I got so mad that he was ignoring me that I started to bug him. He got up, threw the fan across the room, broke his st. paulis girl light, and then broke my mirror. I started to get really scared and left the room because I was starting to have a panic attack. He then threw the door into the wall and put a huge hole into it. I told him I was sorry and he took the fan, put another hole in the wall, and then broke a dresser drawer. After he got dressed and went to walk out and -acting like an insane person- I followed him out trying to get him to stay. He revved up his gas and then put it into park trying to blow up his engine on his car and then sped off. It is obviously time to break up but I feel like I pushed him too far and that it is all my fault. This isn't the first time he has broken things, and every time he tells me its because I push him too far. Is it all me? Or am I insecure due to his psychological head games?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • NO YOU DID NOT PUSH HIM TO FAR ! it is NOT your fault at all ... omg when I read this it sound so much like what happen to me I was with the same guy for 8 years I met him when I was 16 and he was 26 we got a place together and everything then I found out he was cheating on me the whole time and he treated me like sh*t the hole time to but I would make up exuses for him and I would just think well OK its my fault I just should have not said anything .. but I was wrong I should have left him years ago !

    a good relationship has to have good comunication and if he hurts you yall should be able to talk about it and it seems like you can't becuase he gets mad like that trust me if he is punching walls and stuff he would hit you .. I don't no if he ever has or not but I'm sure he would I have seen it to many times . you can do so much better then this guy I hope you dump his ass for good and find some one who makes you feel good and happy and don't settle for less !

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  • men never know what's going on...thats what I was told and that's what I learned...the fact that your bottling it all up means your finding excuses to pick a fight with him, is your fault...you know one day it was all gonna come out why not just talk about it with him atm? I know its hard to talk about cause you don't wanna mess up your relationship but you have to...im sure you had a lot of happy times with him...but imagine if that was you and your boyfriend told you everything you did wrong and blammed everything on and and tried to say your the one that did everything wrong while he was right the whole time...while talking about both sides.

    its not always you you you you its we

    so if its a fight, you have to talk about both sides pretty much and understand his side before arguing and if he wants to be lefted alone there's always tomorrow when he feels better

    idk what to say...but I do it too...i end up writting it to him or texting him how I feel the next day so he understands why I got p*ssed

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    • I do try to talk with him; he doesn't want to though... But I do understand what you're saying. I don't want to make things work with him, but I have learnt from this.

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