I want my ex back.

I want my ex back she dumped me and I don't know why I think she just wants more than me. The joy of life is gone I just can't see a reason to do sh*t people say it gets better but does it really? Its only been nearly 2 weeks but every day just gets harder and more painful no one can tell me it will be alright because to me it won't she won't come back and I am going to carry this pain till the day I die. I will get no answers from her or a reason why and that something I need to move on so how the f*** do I do it please someone give me something better than it gets easier, time heals all and all the same sh*t you see on tv.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, I really feel for you.

    You seem to have given a lot to her and honestly loved her, so now that she's turned away and said "no, thanks", your self-esteem is totally smashed. I know quite well how you feel. =/

    I know it will be tough - but accept that. Next time, don't let your individuality be compromised for someone, because you will be at a loss if they ever leave.

    I agree with scott63a, as well ... either there were serious relationship problems, or she's acting like an idiot. People don't leave for no reason. She probably doesn't even know what it means to love someone, and she certainly couldn't appreciate YOUR feelings for her. She won't find another guy like you so easily, if that's some consolation. She might eventually realize it or not, but it shouldn't matter to you anymore.

    You deserved at least an explanation.

    But now, let all that go. You think you lost a part of yourself, but you're the same person as you were. Just as complete. But you've broken up with someone who obviously doesn't deserve you. So why do YOU feel bad ?

    Ok, you might never forget her (though I doubt she was that great, and she acted really immature). But you'll eventually see her mistakes and they way she treated you more clearly, and it will be easier then.

    Until then, keep busy. Extremely busy. Reinvent your life. Stop thinking about the past, stop thinking about any bad thing that happened, and work for the future. Take up a new sport, develop some new interests or hobbies, meet new people (but don't force yourself ... just take it easy and be with people that mean something to you). Traveling to new places will make you feel like a new person and give you new, positive experiences, especially if you go with a best friend or something. Watch some good comedies and cut all sad movies, songs and memories of her out for a while. You can cry, remember and regret later. Now it's time to do some action. :)

    Another tip. Every time you catch yourself thinking about her, about how bad you feel or about how worthless you are, STOP - even if it happens every second. It isn't true. It's just your subconscious not being helpful at all and you trying to keep yourself from being happy. You can be, I promise. And also, you deserve it.

    It would really help to change a few habits, your style or even move somewhere else if you can (you could also stay with a friend for a while). You need to turn your head around this because she obviously wasn't worth your time, and do new things in your life. When you will feel more positive, you will also attract more people and eventually, you'll feel strong enough to start completely anew.

    I believe in you. :)

    This might've been a tough episode, but you sound genuine and lovely ... you deserved someone better. And I know eventually you will find a girl that'll love you for who you are.

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What Girls Said 6

  • OK buddy, I know you are hurting but you're being a LITTLE melodramatic. I'll carry this pain till I die? No, you won't, at all. You're still young too.

    You move on by allowing time to pass. And it's only been 2 (maybe now 3) weeks since you broke up. That is SOOOOO not enough time. I mean unless it was only a few weeks of relationship, and then you may want to look into WHY YOU are so upset, not what she did to hurt you.

    You will get over it, just stop rushing it. In fact, in a year you'll probably look back and be like, why, why was I so hung up. And it won't take a year to move on.

    Actual ways of getting over her? Go about your life. Stop thinking about the past, focus on tasks at hand, whether it's a chore or work or TV or whatever. Go out with your friends, throw yourself into a hobby. Sitting around and dwelling, which you ARE doing, is not going to help any.

    And she doesn't OWE you any answers. Yes, it's NICE, but the truth is, she just wasn't feeling the same way YOU were. It doesn't mean anything about you or mean you are any less of a person. I loved my ex more than he loved me, and I had to come to the conclusion that, that was all it was. That we weren't meant to be together, and NOW? after only 3 months (BTW, I lived with him for 2 years, had a lot invested in him emotionally, had pets together) I can see it wasn't only that we were on different pages in terms of emotions, but we were on different ends of the spectrum in terms of what we both wanted out of life. In short, it wasn't that I wasn't good enough for him, or vice versa, we just weren't the right match. Too different.

    Stop harping on the who what where when and why, and just focus on you and what you need (btw, WANTING her and NEEDING her are different and you don't need her. You shouldn't NEED anyone but yourself).

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  • Things do get better. I promise you. From experience. . .(& if you want details, I can give them to you) everything will get better. . .

    Once upon a time some sh*t (a lot of sh*t, actually) happened to me and then I woke up one day (& sometimes I still have to do this each morning) and decided I was over it. I still think about it because it affects my daily life, but CHOOSE to enjoy being single for the moment and you'll be so much more appreciative when that spectacular girl you deserve crosses your path in life. You deserve better. . .Hindsight is always 20/20, but when you look back, you realize that everything DOES happen for a reason and the reasons are ALWAYS better. It did take me two and a half years to get over my son's dad. . .You'll find someone better, so don't keep waiting on this one chick. . .you'll miss out.

    Good luck, doll. . .life can hurt, but without hurt you wouldn't be able to enjoy pleasure.

    "the shadows prove the sunshine" meaning, without darkness, how would you acknowlegde and appreciate life?

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  • You shouldn't want someone who does not want you, does not care about you, and does not accept you for who you are. You deserve better than that! You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you too. You should want someone who wants to be with you too. If someone treats you like sh*t, why would you want that person back. Be strong and I hope I was able to help and give you a little boost. I mean, think of yourself as someone who deserves to have somone who wants to be and STAY with you too. You deserve that! I hope this all makes sense. I know it is VERY hard. Trust me, it has been like that for me too. But I have learned everything I am writing here. I have learned all of this through time and patience and experience. Hope I was able to help. Take care and just try to forget about her and move on and find someone else who wants to date you and be with you and STAY with you. Good luck! :)

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  • she probably will be able to tell you more in a bit of time. Remember that it might be just as traumatic for her, even if she was the one to end it.

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  • I know how you feel, my Ex just told me that I basicly need to move on because he's to busy for a relationship, he was my first and I told him id wait for him and he still wanted me to move on...everyday I want to just text him or call but I know he's to busy for me and it hurts! I don't know how to move on...i sometimes feel like there's noone else in the world but then I think as long as he's happy I'm going to be happy...Iv been hanging with new people and that seems to be helping...you should try to just get out and meet some new people and take it slow:) I hope this helped a little.

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  • even if your not okay act like you are. don't text or call her cand act like you don't care. after she notices that she wasn't that big of a deal to you shel want you so bad

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    • Yeah I highly doubt that ever happens haha. my girlfriend dumped me about 4 weeks ago, she wanted to be friends. she hasn't talked to me, and when she passes me in the halls at school, she doesn't look at me (when I'm looking, I've caught her looking at me). but really? I don't believe that ever happens haha

What Guys Said 10

  • These things are always tough. It sounds like there were some serious problems in your relationship for her to just bail out like that and not speak to you any longer. Either that, or she's a total bitch. Which is it? You know the answer.

    You say that you need some kind of statement from her as to why she left. Why? What difference does it make now? She's gone and you're going to have to deal with it. It sounds like your self esteem is completely gone. Why? What happened in this relationship that would make you feel so worthless?

    Do you see where I'm going with this? It doesn't sound like you guys were a good match. You can't be dependent on her to make things better. You have to pull your sh*t together and move on. Regain your self confidence, self esteem, and self respect. You are in total control of your emotions and how you feel about yourself and life.

    Time WILL heal this wound. You just have to make it happen. Make an effort to meet someone new. Get together with your friends this weekend and go out and step outside your comfort zone. If you see someone that you are interested in, make it a point to start up a conversation with her. Take control. Make it happen for yourself. Don't wait for your dream girl to land in your lap.

    Oh, and what ever you do, don't bring up the X to ANYONE new that you date. Leave her in the past.

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    • Right I am going to lvl with you my mum and dad were never around told me I was an accedent I was hated by my older brother and sister till I was 18 and even now it not easy. my self esteem is gone I know. my first girlfriend only went out with me because she wanted a kid so she didn't have to work (I didn't have a kid with her) and now the only person in my life that made me feel wanted turned round and said she doesn't want me any more. I'm not a bad guy but I keep getting f***ed over I don't know why.

  • Hi mate. I thought I'd give you an insight in my life. I was like you about 5 months ago. My ex was certainly different to the vast amount of girls that have past through my 20 years on this planet. It crushed me the day she ended it. I still haven't had the closure I wanted after 5 months, she is back in my life again due to university, lives just down the road and I see her a few times a week.

    We are civil around one another because the break up wasn't drastically blown out of proportion but we barely talk in groups and haven't spoken alone yet.

    But it does get easily. I can't explain how but it just does. Deep down I'm an extremely romantic person although many of my mates don't know this because I struggle to show it in front of the lads.

    Just trust me, you'll pull through but it doesn't mean its the end between you 2.

    Currently I'm experiencing all my feelings resurfacing and I'm starting to want her again.

    BUT and this is a big but, I'm strong now. I'm wiser and smarter so I can handle it and approach it maturely. If I had my time over again, I would split up with her again even though it was the single most painful time of my life so far because the experience and growth I got from it is priceless.

    I may yet get back with her, I might not, at the moment I just want to spend time with her because I miss her, not the relationship

    Hope this helps.

    Mike

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  • I've been through this.. although I was lucky to have a woman who gave me the reasons... It sucks not knowing what the hell you've done wrong. But you need to deal with it... I still feel the pain from my last girlfriend..that was over a year ago. What you need to do man is do something productive.. follow a dream.. Girls like guys that are persistent not only in pursuing them .. but simultaneously their dreams/ambitions. I'll tell you... after she was out of my life I had no friends because I had spent to much time with HER. I didn't have my own life.. Find a hobby and get really good at it...I did the unhealthy thing and played video games for 6 months and rarely went out or talked to anyone... its rough.. Don't let her have power over your life after she's made it clear she is not happy with you... whatever the reasons were.. it doesn't mean you're a BAD person... unless you killed or raped someone.. which I doubt. It gets easier when you are working hard at pursuing something else.. If you have nothing but her to think about.. it will burn until the suns gone..literally.

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  • But don't forget to say 'hi wherever you catch your eyes on her,if she still doesn't reply,call or text her on how you still feel being with her and if she doesn't act nice,tell her that she will always be the one you really love and bears in your mind and then call her off,dont text or call again,on that faithful day,shes gonna see you and say 'hi' to you..

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  • I know exactly what you're going through as I'm going through it too. It is really bad when you're alone. Go out with friends. Show her you can handle life without her. Be happy. Act happy if you have to. Do not show her she affected you. However, give her the occasional really sad look when you catch her looking at you. Leave her alone to realize what she did and she will either come back to you or leave. You can't do much. The important thing to do now is spend time with your friends and have fun.

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  • I know how you feel, It's been been almost a year since we break up. I flirt, I go out with friends and do all sorts of stuff.

    It will take more than 2 weeks to get over it. Even now when I see couples and love related stuff it brings back memories and it's painful. Also lots of my motivation is getting lower and lower because I'm single.

    My advice is start dating other girls, that's the only way it will get better.

    I'm doing the same now but the circumstances don't help me, at least I try though :))

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  • wtf why don't you become a man and just go through this she's the loser and you're supposed to be stronger than this

    so stop acting **** and live your life as it was before

    hang out with some friends and get rid of all what happened

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  • Then go get her back

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  • I am going through the 4th week now of a similar breakup. Things haven't been getting better, and if it is for you, please let me know how. It really is effed up how a girl can do that to someone. I think just reading all of these replies make you feel better in some way. My friends help me get my mind off of her but in the end it doesn't stop me from wanting my ex back. Get close to someone else. that's all I can think of.

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  • Dude, there's a magic potion that if you slip into her drink, she'll come back to you. She'll then always be yours forever. But you must be careful with it.

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