Should I give him a another chance?

My Boyfriend is always putting me down. We are a interracial couple. He is Irish and I am a Latina. He is a teacher and I am a nurse. The good first: he always wants to spend time with me. Always calls me and keep in touch even when away on vacation. He wants me to go on vacation with him all the time, and pays attention to the things I like (food, coffee, wine,etc). The bad: he is always putting me down. He always makes comments on the way I dress, my weight, everything. The last thing he said was the I wasn't really smart but that I just memorize stuff. Sometimes I feel that he is trying to destroy my self esteem. Should I give him a second time?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should never have to put up with somebody who damages your self esteem like that. If taken far enough it's abusive. You shouldn't have to take that.If it really bothers you, talk to him about it. Tell him you're p*ssed, and hurt, and you're not gonna take much more of it, that he needs to cut this shit out or you're out the door. Now if you're already voiced your feelings on this, then just forget warning him, and break up with him. I don't think you need to put up with this crap at all.

    Good luck with this.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • What a jerkwater. Nothing worse than put downs from someone you care about.

    I think he' not aware he's sterotyping you because you're Latina!

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  • Sounds like an a$$hole. Find someone who respects and loves you, nothing less.

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  • My advice is to get out, while you still can.

    If he really cares about you he would accept you as you are and not make comments aimed at destroying your self esteem.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Absolutely not. Your boyfriend is putting you down to make himself feel better. He is "treating you nice" to lure you in, and he is putting you down so that you will become all insecure and think you can't get a man better than him and will stay with him forever. Basically, he is playing good cop--bad cop with you. In reality, he knows that you are smarter, better looking, more attractive to the opposite sex than him, so he is trying any way to keep you. If he really thought you were dumb or fat or ugly, would he still want to be in a relationship with you? Absolutely not. You can do so much better than him, and he knows it.

    I was in exactly the same situation. I had a boyfriend who seemed very attentive to me, brought me flowers, gifts, remembered special days, etc. But at the same time he would tell me I was fat (even though I wasn't at the time!) and would complain about little things like my cooking, cleaning, etc. Basically, he was chipping my self-esteem, because he knew I was too good for him (he addmitted this when I was breaking up with him)

    Now I've got a man who is 10 times (no joke!) more attractive, smart, and attentive, and who tells me that I'm gorgeous and have a beautiful body, even though I gained 7 kg since I broke up with my ex.

    So leave him girl! he doesn't deserve a second chance, and you will find a man 10 times better because that is what karma is like ;)

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    • Thank you! Your comments are very helpfull.

  • He sounds like a jackass who is trying to ruin your self esteem for fear of you going off and meeting someone else. Basically so that you'll become dependant on him and won't have the confidence to meet new people. I think you should move on from this relationship. You deserve so much better. Any boyfriend who puts you down doesn't deserve to be with you.

    Don't blame his behavior on his nationality, Irish guys are the same as any other and most treat their girlfriends really well.

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  • If what he does makes you unhappy you shouldn't give him a second chance, but if you want to be with him, tell him that he needs to stop with comments like that because they put you down, if he doesn't end it.

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    • I agree, I don't know why guys/girls stick with people who purposefully make them feel bad. I'm a smartass, I tease people a lot but I would never tell a girl she's overweight or stupid. That kind of stuff isn't funny it's insulting and degrading.

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