Is my ex playing games with me?

My ex boyfriend and I are friends. We did have a bad break up. He was the one that left me and I was deeply hurt, but still communicated and do everyday, either chat online, text or phone call.

We were together 4 years and broke up July 2009. It was an LDR

Since then he has dated a few times, I have not as am not ready to date anyone and want to enjoy doing things for myself for the moment.

Here's the thing. up to recently things have been a bit weird. I did call him and did tell him that there were times that I did miss him and all the fun stuff we used to do and I said that I am sure it was the same for him and he said yes to that.

OK, I told him I was going over to his country for a visit, suddenly there was a girl on the scene and he was meeting with her the day after I was due over. I canceled my trip, as something came up work wise that I couldn't go. I told him I wasn't coming the next week and he had been working over time to get time off to spend a day with her, but she didn't want to talk to him much, so it was off.

I have been chatting with a nice guy recently, and my ex asked me about him, So OK told him. My ex told me that he had met a girl in the group he is with and he told me about her and I told him that she sounds like me and he said yes. Not a day after they went out, when he told me that he and her are just friends cos of the group.

Today I rang him and told him that I think Bob and me will just be friends, my ex then told me that he and this girl from the group are still going to see each other, I was taken aback as it was different to what he said the day before. I did tell him that it was different, he said yea, and he said she knows about me.

He also sent me a text today telling me a fave movie of mine was on TV and he said he was watching it. He then sent me a night text .

I really don't get my ex... is he playing games with me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly it sounds like both of you stil have feelings for each other. But long distance relationships rarely work out in my opinion. I think you need to have a chat with him over the phone about this and decide what you guys want to do. Would you be prepared to move to his country or would he be prepared to move to yours to really give things a go?
    What was the reason he broke up with you in the first place?
    It doesn't sound like either of you are getting a proper chance to move on because you stay in contact the wholes time.

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    • I am moving to his country but its difficult to find a nice place. I do think if he had feelings for me he wouldn't be meeting with someone else. I still like him but have been getting on with my life as much as I can since we broke up. I have started chatting with someone new and things seem good so far. The break up was complicated mostly we didn't get to see each other much and financial issues.

    • But if there was a chance in getting back together with him, I would have to give it some thought as he was the one who walked away from the relationship and I hurt really badly and it is something I find hard to forget. But in truth, if roles had been reversed, I would never have left, especially if I loved the other person

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Your life is a weird strange situation, I do not know where to begin with how strange this sounds, try simplifying things, meet someone in your own country. And yes he is playing with your emotions and loving it as it appears to be.

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  • it if looks like it he probably is, ldr are hard to keep and maintain...

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  • He still thinks about you, stays in touch, maybe keeping you in his life on the back burner maybe somethign to come back to, or maybe hook up or friends with benefits could be anything only time will tell at least he is still contacting you so that is a good sign...

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    • Thanks for your reply. I certainly don't want to be a friend with benefits. I doubt that he will come back to me, but its just his odd behavior that is confusing.me. I don't like game playing or stuff like that. It is hard to know, but as you say, only time will tell.

What Girls Said 3

  • Get over him if possible - he seems to have decided to move on, I think, you should do the same. Stop calling/texting him, I don't see it going anywhere. If he realizes that you were the girl for him after all, he'll come back - if not, don't be too sad. Get back into the dating business until then and have some fun.

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  • maybe yeah

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  • Yes. And it may not be intentional but to some degree it is.

    It also is the distance.

    I have the same exact problem, only I don't believe (or know) if my ex is seeing anyone; and I'm also going to another Country to visit and will see him.

    Did he ask you about your bf/date? Or did you offer? I'm curious about his interest in you. If you offered it's suggestive that initially you tried to make him jealous only to see if he cared. And later you retracted that by saying "it's hardly anything" which was a great idea but perhaps the damage is done. Some guys, I know my guy, is jealous and spiteful that way.

    I haven't however, seen anyone but him. He wants to meet other people and told me he's looking. It hurt. Because I can't even fathom dating someone else right now.

    Guys change their minds like the wind. I got stories from mine. So my only advice to you is to let him be. I know how much it hurts. Clearly he 'selected' this girl because you can't be there. It's the distance as I said. And she is a comfort to him because he can't have you.

    Any chance you'll be moving over there? If not.. perhaps it's time to move on. Maybe they won't last, maybe they will. She sounds like a replacement or a rebound girl. Those never (usually) last. But eventually someone will last.

    I wish you much luck. I know and understand deeply how heavy this is on the heart. I hope you (and I too) can find our peace and happiness through all this, and I hope whatever is best works out for you.

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    • My ex did tell me he was looking but he only joined this group I am sure to meet girls. This girl he is seeing in the group, is not a rebound relationship, he already had a rebound a month after we broke up. He does blow hot and cold with me. Yes I am moving over to his country as I do have other friends who live there. Yes he did as about Bob and I told him.

    • OK well him asking about you having a boyfriend or about your boyfriend is a sign of interest in you. If he moved on he wouldn't care & wouldn't pry, at the very least. 2nd, you are far & he may feel threatened by your distance or the fact you're coming. He's afraid of you being close perhaps.. The distance kept him safe (maybe he wasn't ready for a rel'ship) & now that you're coming he's making like he's taken.. I dont' buy it

    • We had discussed meeting up about a month ago, and he said he would meet with me, when I come over but something always seems to be a new girl, when I am due over. He already has had relationships since me, so it seems he is ready for a relationship. But when I say I am going over things seem to happen and its weird. You are right in what you said about him making like he's taken. I don't know why it is. I have been over in his country but never went to see him, we did text and stuff but never met

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