He needs to seek therapy with his now ex girlfriend who is trying to deal with this issue the best way she can.

I am in a tough situation right now and need some advice bad. A very close friend of mine recently had a girlfriend who had her fourth miscarriage. He now has dumped her and dubbed her "not the one" and recently started talking to another woman. I am trying to tell him that he has not had the proper time to grieve and that maybe his decision is because he is very depressed due to the miscarriages, but he doesn't seem to find any thing wrong with him dating at this point. I think that right now him trying to involve anyone else in his life right now is wrong until he gets the proper therapy and treatment he needs to successfully deal with these miscarriages. I also think that he needs to seek therapy with his now ex girlfriend who is trying to deal with this issue the best way she can...is he right? The questions I need answered are this:

1. SHOULD he even be worried about trying to get "get to know" someone else until he properly grieves

2. Should he completely shut her out until he properly grieves with his now ex girlfriend

3. How should I tell him without having him shut me down again and tell me "this woman and this issue have nothing to do with each other" I think they do. I feel like he should be honest with her at least and tell her that his now ex had a miscarriage. I think he's worried that this female is going to leave if he tells her. They have only known each other 3 weeks. And she does not like the fact that he still is in contact with his now ex girlfriend. He didn't even tell her that his ex girlfriend was pregnant. I just REALLY need advice I'm confused on how to help him!


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What Guys Said 1

  • First off, yes you have a solid case and I agree with you. Unfortunately everyone deals with matters at such in different ways. You can't force one to seek consoling or "help" if they are not ready to and maybe he feels he does not need to, that's up to him whether or not he feels like he is ready to move on, not up to you. Shutting her out is most likely a coping mechanism for him. Some people are not good at dealing with such tragic events as such sending them into there own world where they feel nothing can harm them. It's a simple way of getting rid of the issue in there eyes when in reality it's just the same as putting a band-aid over a wound, though it's covered it's still there. As far as talking to him, if face to face is difficult I would write him a letter and hand deliver it to him and tell him, please read this, it's only because I care. Just remember, everyone deals with issues in different forms, he may need some time till he decides to talk to this woman again or seek proper counsel. Good luck

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What Girls Said 1

  • First I want to say that I think he's an ass for dumping her because she can't have children. But I completely understand where he's coming from. Some people want kids and she unable to give him that so he has to move on. It's selfish, but he has to look out for himself.

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