Why do I always end up with losers/idiots/crazies who don't appreciate me??

I'm 28 and currently single (been single almost all my life)...anyway, even though I don't get approached very much (for a supposedly "beautiful" woman--at least that's what I get told often) I seem to be giving most guys that I come across the time of day (regardless of looks, income, etc...) and just get screwed over in the end. 98% of these people just want to have a good time and nothing more...I've met those guys through all types of avenues--setups by friends and family, online, at the airport, at the workplace,etc...what is my deal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here is my theory:

    You said you were told by many that you are beautiful. You didn't say who told you that. If that were your parents, then I tend to think of the phrase: "A beauty only a mother could love" which basically means butt ugly. But! I doubt it hat it was only your mother who told you that you are beautiful otherwise you won't mentioned it in your question because I think you may have been aware of the so called "Only mother could love" phenomena.

    Using the very limited information I have, I am assuming acquaintances and friends were the ones who told that you are beautiful, then I am assuming that you are truly beautiful in an objective standpoint (There is beautiful and there is widely acceptable beauty in which case you fall in the latter category) In which case, I must say that it is your curse to be an extremely beautiful woman that the only men/boys who have the balls to approach you are the assholes who think very highly of themselves and hence deserve such a price as a stunning woman as yourself, but again, they are assholes deep down and when it comes to relationship, their asshole-ness bound to be revealed sooner or later.

    I am sorry that it happened to you...

    that's my theory...

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    • I don't mean to toot my own horn, but it's the latter category rather than a face only a mother could love. I don't think I come across as intimidating though because I still get approached by average joes. You do make an interesting point about some men who think highly of themselves....I thought it was most men that think they're better than they actually are :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • It could just be that the type you're attracted to is the type that tend to be assholes/idiots/losers. I've been single for a long time myself because most of the women I meet are interested in (as they put it) more "masculine" men, which usually means the type that will inevitably leave them after a bit of fun. Not saying you can't have a good guy that's also masculine by today's standards, but it's more common for a good guy to be the type you would rather be friends with. I don't know for sure if this is the case, but try thinking about what character traits you usually are drawn to, and then think of what kind of guy that would usually turn out to be. If it SHOULD add up to a good guy, then let me know what the characteristics are and maybe I'll be able to give more accurate information :) Hope this helps!

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    • I understand what you're saying...it seems that many women are drawn to the "cocky" or badboy type...On the other hand, I do NOT have a type! I've dated men from various backgrounds: races, religions, occupations, different appearances (short vs. tall)...I admit that I went out with a couple of rich men who turned out to be a**holes, but normally I don't have a type

    • Ah, well then maybe it's just a subconscious thing, I've met a couple of women who somehow manage to pick up the alpha losers no matter what disguise they where, be it nerdy or jockish. If that's the case, then maybe you aught to try just being friends with them for a few months first, if they can handle that and you get close to them and find them to be great guys, then maybe they are the right guy for you :)

  • you have to have a type. look, i''ve told that that i'm forceful and i've been told i suffocate... and i hate it! i force myself to get up and i suffocate myself with past i'd wish one none-the kind that ages you in mere days... why bother to change guys who simply don't wanna change... but leave guys like me to drown?

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  • Ah! Au contraire, mon amie! Many men out there have security issues just like the ladies...

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  • i find it interesting that you were able to distinguish a certain category as "average joes". Maybe what YOU are seeing as "average joes" is actually at least some of them men who know what BS the other men are that you apparently find to be "above average joes" and they don't want to be like that type at all costs and so you're not taking the time to get to know any of them because you're so messed up in the head that you still have your eye out for the "above average joes" and so you're getting exactly what you "want" and deserve.

    Some of these "average joes" are wonderful men that intentionally will avoid the appearance or imitating the behavior of these "above average joes" at all costs such that you won't even notice them. It's because they are better men than you deserve, and a woman will overlook a great man standing right in front of her because there is no way that what she has is good enough for her.

    Go for your pretty boys, money and idiot/losers and you'll always get the loneliness that you apparently want and deserve.

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