We've been dating for 10 months now and he just recently groped me (which I allowed him to do but usually I'm very defensive about that) and I was wondering if I'm really slow? (as opposed to moving too fast) He has the highest respect for me and my choices and I couldn't of asked for a better guy. As you all can guess we've never had sex (I'm saving it for marriage) but, we plan to get married in the distant future. What the usual rate for you guys? Make out after a month and groping follows on the second? I'm just curious? :O
Most Helpful Girl
Talk to him about it.
The two of you have been together for 10 months, so I assume you've talked to him about the fact that you're saving yourself for marriage? If for some reason you haven't, you definitely should. It's not fair to know that you don't plan on having sex with someone until you're married to them, but to not let them know that that's the case.
So, assuming that he does know you're saving yourself for marriage, what are his views on it? Does he also want to wait until marriage? Or maybe he doesn't share that point of view, but is willing to wait until marriage because he supports you in your decision?
Make sure you tell him what "no sex before marriage" means to you. What is okay to do and what isn't? Is it nothing more than kissing and groping? Or are you okay with doing some things (dry humping, handjobs, fingering, oral sex, etc.---not necessarily at the moment, but sometime down the road before marriage)? Lay it out on the table and talk about it (if he wants to save himself for marriage too, then you want to make sure you see eye-to-eye on what's okay and what's not; if he doesn't (but is willing to because he wants to be with you), you should let him know these things so that he doesn't overstep your boundaries).
Once you've established what you both want/expect out of your "sexual" relationship, then you can talk about expectations of how soon is too soon. All guys are different in respect to this, so the only way to know what "rate" he's comfortable with is to talk to him about it.
Open communication is key to a healthy romantic relationship and sexual relationship. I don't think it's fair to just be defensive when he tries to do something---he should know your boundaries so that he won't overstep them or pressure you into doing something you don't want to.0