I ended it with my fiancee, she showed big signs of cheating..I want her back!

OK here we go. I'm 31 she is 27. She moved in as my roommate and we shared everything after a while we started liking each other. Then bam we started a relationship. Got a puppy together, it was perfect I had found my soul mate, after a while like 3 months we got engaged.

It was great till one night I dropped her off to a work function, which was fine till I come back later to pick her up. I waited and no text response, so then I walked into the function.

I could not believe my eyes; she was sitting on a young guys lap licking his face or something. This is like a week after I gave her the ring! I stormed out and she came after me. And told me it was a dare. So I let it go...still a bit mad though.

At home that night she was texting someone. She passed out so I sot a bit nosy and read her phone. She said that she had pashed a workmate and I walked in...Some things never change...

I hit her up about it and she denied it.

still feeling confused I face booked the guy as I kind of knew him and asked him nicely to not cross the line with her as we were engaged..Bad move on my behalf.

This blew over for a few months till yea another work function.

I left her alone that night and had full trust until I got asked to pick her up. She was off her face and was spewing. Legless ETC so got her home and put her to bed. Her best mate was with her at the time and was holding on to her phone. She then started saying you are not getting your phone back till the morning. That gave me alarm bells. What had she done that night...?

So I asked for it and read that a work mate wanted to take her out for dinner and drinks at his place. And she agreed...sounded like a date to me. So I asked her about this. She maintained that they are only friends. The whole point to this is that I wanted to meet her new friends which h were mostly male and hang out and get to know them. She always said no I cannot come to a work drinks...why not! I asked. She said no partners are welcome...it was at a public bar. And also I don’t know of any work drinks that last till 1am in the morning. Every Fri.

Back to the story. I got over the date thing may have been innocent. Till she said she wanted "space" she then started going to the bar every Fri. I found out that her and a bouncer was flirting and they had swapped numbers. After a bit of time I saw the signs that she was up to no good. Taking phone to bathroom and everywhere, text late at night and everything. New underwear. Sexy stockings etc.they def went for me. So I had huge alarm bells ringing at this time!Still I let her go out and gave her space. Same bar every Fri. One night I wanted to know what was happening it was killing me! I was hearing secrets from her and her friend. So I decided to check her hotmail. Then Bam!Pages and pages of chat to this bouncer guy who works at her work too...it was like computer sex, everything he and she wanted to know about each other...it made me sick inside. To see this.

I want her back

Just to let you know I did end the engagement. after I found out that she and a friend had booked a hotel room right next to the bar. she then lied to me and said that she will be in the city night clubbing. found out she was meeting him.He is married too
Ok she has just asked again today if I am going to see her soon. my reply was lets just see how it goes.

What are her intentions here. after all the heart ache and lies and with me moving out and away, is she wanting to mend things? what do I do.


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What Girls Said 1

  • From what you've written its clear how strongly you feel about her so it would be useless to advise you to walk away because relationships are never that simple. However, since you care for her this much, it's important for you to consider how she's feeling and look at what messages she's sending you with her actions.

    Does she return your interest? Do you both want the same things in the relationship? Her cheating/lying behavior probably stems from the fact that she doesn't want the same things as you do in the relationship at this point.

    She is still exploring her options and doesn't seem ready to meet you at the point of settling down, this is why she's hurting you the way she is. If you want her back you may want to talk to her about what she wants, see if she's ready for marriage at this point in her life, and if she isn't (which seems to be the case) ask her where this places the two of you in terms of your relationship. It's important to define both of your wants and figure out if this is a relationship worth continuing.

    • Thanks. I have since left her. I think a little part of her wanted to settle down but with a mixture for her best friend whom is only 20, alcohol and party she got cold feet. she is the type of person not to experss her feelings and she told me this. only her actions speak louder than words. gee the bouncer guy is married too. so she is the type of girl who wants what she can't get. and thrives for attention. I gave her everything.and lots of love and she still abused it. she won't change aye?

    • I think it's definitely for the best that you left, from what it sounds like, she may very well have continued to cheat on you had you married her. I'm glad you figured things out before ending up with the same/similar problems while married. I hope you find someone who will give to you/commit to you the way you did her, you deserve better :).

    • Im sure I will and next time I will be posting how happy I am and over the past.

What Guys Said 1

  • Sorry but "lmfao" doesn't quite cut it.. You have almost a book and a half on this girl cheating - let your last 4 words in this question are: "I want her back"..

    My only words of advice - is that you are allowing this to happen by standing by and watching it happen. I only pity at people that can't find a healthy relationship, especially to the point that they let someone cheat on them.

    You have all the evidence you need to make a decision. Make one and stick by it; none of us can help you in staying with (or away) from this girl. We can only advise and hope that you choose the better path - to stay away from her.

    Take care,


    • Thanks for that. I didn't have enough space to finish, but I ended up moving out and away from her. I ended it got the ring back and am now picking up the peices....

      i have tried the no contact rule but she emails saying hey, I miss you, or that the dog misses me.

      another question. why is she keeping me at arms reach? why won't she let me go?

    • She's selfish - she can't see that she is hurting you by playing games (I call it tugging on your heart).. In the end, it'll be much easier if you DO NOT respond to these texts/calls/sayings.. If she says: "The dog misses you" --> don't text her back. If she says it in person, ignore it like she didn't say anything. If she keeps on going about it - call her out on her sh*t: "Why do you insist on telling me you miss me, when you know I'm not gonna date you?" .. She'll keep going if you don't.

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