^What are your thoughts?^
My ex dumped me about 2 months ago, after going out for about 6 months. It came pretty much out of nowhere... he just didn't feel ready to be in a serious relationship. Which I actually understand, because he is pretty immature & I've known that all along. ( I think what he really means is that he isn't ready to be in a serious, committed relationship... just my thought though). He claims to still like me, but doesn't want to screw things up because he knew he wasn't ready. I guess the reason he broke up with me doesn't really matter... the act of breaking up says it all...
But yeah... We were good friends before we dated. He was actually one of my best friends at school (college).
Ive been struggling trying to figure out if we can or should be friends again. I know it will take time. But I've lost a lot of trust in him. I've already expressed my opinion to him that I will probably never take him back.
But I was just wondering what people think about being friends after breaking up. Any stories? Suggestions? Tips on how to make it work?
Most Helpful Guy
im trying to do it right now even though I think its the wrong thing to do. I mean...there is no going back to certain things. I was with my ex for over 4 years. very very tight and committed relationship. great friends for years before. now...all I want is the relationship or nothing, but I'm hurting so I'm keeping her around as my friend because that's what she wanted. anyways...what I'm saying is...you have to know what you really want from this. I think its not a good idea to be friends afterward. it just doesn't work. if he wants you he will pursue you and if you want him then maybe you can take that step, but if you are done with hiim like you said then I would just tell him that you can't be his friend.
to me friendship after a breakup is this, "support group for the people involved" it is a way for the the person who was rejected to still keep their hope for the other alive and for the person who did the rejecting its a way that they can not feel so bad over what they did. its a safe house for them if they get hurt again. they will always have the "friend" that they kept in the background and expect them to pick up the pieces.
decide if you want this person in your life. that's the first step. then...decide if you can see yourself with them romantically later on. best thing is to limit contact so that your emotions don't play a role in your decision and it is based on your evaluation of the relationship and friendship.1