Background: Our relationship was exciting, loving and stable. We fell in love quickly and I had some of the best months of my life together. After a few rocky weeks apart, she had some major decisions to make in her life and my changed behavior and an important work placement prompted us to split. The break up was mature and graceful as much as it hurt, I refrained from making it worse and asking for her back, she said I reminded her of her ex and she didn't want that again with someone.
She is back down for university next week for good, we have started speaking again now.
The only thing I can tell you is what happens when we are in groups together. The first time she saw/spoke/contacted me in months, she hugged me. I catch her looking at me quite a bit.
Its only awkwardness between us, no bitterness or hatred. without sounding too corny its a bit of the notebook thing going on here, when we're apart, we both seem to cope although I miss her,i carry on but when we see each other, it feels like we're both trying so hard to hold it all together.
i know it will be hard to answer as you have no context to place this in.
I realize tonight that I still am in love with her, I'm unsure what I want to come of this yet. I feel that I need to spend quality time with her eventually then when it feels right, tell her or hint to how I feel. Much like you would with a girl for the very first time.
I consider myself a mature, level headed person. I've had much time to grow up and rebuild a new life. Without trying to boast, I'm back to my old self, confident, popular, fun and enjoying being 20 now but despite having new women in my life, I would like to make one specific person a little bit more special than the rest, her apart of my life again, just not so big this time as it tore us apart.
I can't think of a way to spend time together rather than a group situation like it has been so far. Any ideas?