Should I send an email to my ex of 10 years ago?

One of my ex girlfriends that things ended poorly with constantly pops up on Facebook's "people you may know" list since we have so many mutual friends. We dated for over two years. Things did not end well. She cheated on me with a friend of mine and I was very bitter for the next 2-3 years. I basically never talked to her again and didn't bother to hide my disdain for her during that time.

I ran into one of her friends about 5 years ago and she mentioned that she had spent the day with my ex and that my ex "Really Hates You". I was well over it at that point, but was surprised to hear that given the situation, she was angry about it - especially after that much time.

Well anyway. Having her pop up all the time has me really curious to see how life turned out for her. This was 10 years ago and I am happily married with kids now. I don't want to be friends with her or anything like that. I just simply hope she is doing well and it has always kind of bothered me that things were left the way that they were. All my other relationships ended well.

I was just going to send her a FB message and say that I know she is probably surprised to get this, acknowledge it may not be well received-so I'll keep it short, and finally just let her know that I hope she got everything she wanted out of life.

Is it alright to send something or should I just let it alone?



Most Helpful Girl

  • This is tough. I have had two ex's reach out to me on myspace/facebook and it can be a little awkward. We were always civil to one another, not a huge nasty break-up, but I always cut ties with ex's. With the time from our break up and us talking again (Years; one nearly 10, other 4yrs) online I think it helped to put some closure in those areas, especially on why I cut ties. We reminisced a little and just caught up on eachothers lives for a bit. We live in different areas of the country now and I don't have to run into them ever, but if I did I think it would be civil. In fact, I actually had a beer with one of my ex's when I visiting my hometown. Things went well, but we had both changed so much. I would say proceed with caution, and don't expect to be friends. Just civil. Also be aware that if you have a private account on fb and send a personal message to her, she will have limited access to your page for about a month.

    • It would probably just be weird. I'll leave it alone.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • So she cheated but she hates you? k.

    Continue to ignore her tbh.

    Leave it be, it is in the past and you are happily married with kids. She doesn't sound like the knid of person worth checking up on tbh.

    • Yep, you're right. I said/thought the same thing for a long time. Enough time has passed where the bitterness is gone. I'm not friends, but on I am on friendly terms with all of my other ex's and when FB came around, I truly enjoyed seeing how life turned out for them. I guess there is a tinge of sadness on my end that a relationship with someone I cared a lot about at the time ended so poorly that I am not comfortable letting her know I wish her the best in life - as I truly do.

  • So how did you actually get into that relationship anyway? What toiling work did you have to do for it first? Or did you just get her for Christmas or your birthday or something?

    • Wow - you are hilarious. It was actually a very good relationship for a long time. Just a couple of dumb 18-21 year olds.

    • Okay, I didn't notice this at first when posting that, but I just did find out that you're in your 30s. Then it's understandable.

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