He left me when I found out I was pregnant and went to see other girls?

We had been seeing each other for 7 months and within that time I had asked him where we stand. He said he did not want to be my boyfriend because he was scared he might hurt me because he doesn't trust himself but regardless (on my stupidity) I still stayed because we have feelings for each other and even though we didn't have the title, it was everything like a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. When I fell pregnant, he could not even sit next to me, he pushed me away and when asked, he told me he was seeing several girls. As painful as it is, I decided then that I would cut him out of my life. The first week passed and I was so numb. it was time for my doctors appointment and they required my ultrasound which I had left at his place so I called his housemate and asked if it was fine to come past to pick it up (because I didn't want to talk to him) and he said its cool so I went by. The door was open so I walked into his room to find him sleeping next to another girl. I just took everything that I owned in that room and left. he was angry because he thought I was going there to spy on him which was not true. He wanted me to call him b4 I come over because he doesn't want me to see things like that because it will happen more. He's sorry that he hurts me but he can't change the way he is. I have not contacted him at all. I try so hard to be strong but I can't sleep at night. He has told me he doesn't ever want to change. Will he ever realize his actions?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am so sorry to hear you're going through this, sweetie. It's the hardest thing in the world when someone turns their back on you when you need them to be there the most. :( Even though he's saying what kind of person he is, it sounds to me like he's refusing to take responsibility. He went back to that lifestyle of his without a pause in his behavior. I think it's inconsiderate, especially considering the delicacy of your state. For crying out loud, it is so low to abandon someone like that ...and then he gets his panties in a bunch by accusing you of spying on him... How heartless. And how on Earth is that going to affect your baby? Seeing daddy only when daddy feels like it? As painful as it is, it does sound like he wants to see the child... But you might have to gauge how much he is really going to keep his word. You are so very strong to be going through this on your own. And I think you're doing the right thing by not contacting him - right now you have to take care of BOTH the baby and YOU. Baby can't be okay if momma isn't (I'm six months pregnant myself right now, so I really resonate with you in how scary it is on its own, not even counting whatever other drama is going on).

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What Guys Said 1

  • If he sees his born child, there is a very slight chance that maybe he will, other than that no. I know that isn't really the answer you want to see given your current situation, but I'm sorry it turned out this way for you. Did he ever say anything to you about whether or not he would be there for you once the baby is born?

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    • When we went for my first ultrasound he cried. He wants to be apart of the babys life and says he is working harder now to try and save for when the baby is due but he says he is not a good man. I recently spoke to him and told him my next ultrasound is coming up and that I would rather he not be there, only because I'm hurting too much to see him and be excited and then go back to reality where we go our seperate ways I don't think I can handle it. he was very upset because he wants to be there.

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    • Sorry that's pakkun@live.com.au

    • No problem

What Girls Said 2

  • Well think of reasons why people change. People change because they want to. This guy does not want to change and he has told you that point blank which is about as honest as he is going to be with you. His actions speak way loud. His actions are saying way more than his words ever will because a guy like that who is an obvious ass does not score with multiple girls without being good with words meaning a complete liar. I`m sure on some level he cares about you. He is human after all but not enough to want to take responsibility and be there for you. Stay strong and realize that you deserve way more than some guy who treats you with disrespect and leaves you when you need him most. Leave him alone and stay strong!

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  • I'm sorry that happened to you. The thing is, is that a guy like that, or player-type guys, won't realize what he is doing is wrong until he ends up LONELY and depressed... that will be the time when he would reevaluate himself and his lifestyle... then he will decide what type of person who would do his life good or what decisions would make him a better person. Hopefully he will realize that he has a responsibility, and that YOU and what you've guys had in the past are more important and meaningful than all his other flings. But for the meantime, he only says he "doesnt want to change" because he feels secure and comfortable with his lifestyle(sleeping around and just getting into meaningless flings). BUT, that phase won't last forever, because most likely he will begin to want something more than just a f***. Just give it a little time, because only time could tell...

    But the biggest thing that could make him come back would obviously seeing the baby and realizing that he's a father.

    This is just coming from my experience, obviously I may be wrong about all of this... But nonetheless, goodluck.

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    • Your right about this. he has told me before that he does feel comfortable with his lifestyle and he's not ready to change. the hardest part is going through pregnancy alone. I have surrounded myself with friends and family but its not the same having a partner there with you all the way. thankyou for your reply x

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