i first met my ex when I was 16 had an amazing relationship but then he ended it out of nowhere & turned into an idiot. he is the first boy I have ever truly love & it took me months to get over it but I did get over it and was completely happy being single. However we got speaking again before Christmas as we have the same group of friends and ended up getting back together. it was him doing the chasing (as was the first time) and I didn't let myself trust him again for ages! now I am moving to uni on Saturday (which he has knew since we got back together)its only an hour away so we planned to stay together & work at it. 4 days ago he told me he didn't want this anymore but had no real reason. I am left once again completely heartbroken & now he is refusing to speak to me because he says "I'm making it harder for myself" all I want is some closure so that I can move on but he won't give me it. it has really hit me hard I can't eat or sleep and don't want to leave feeling this way what should I do?
How to move on after so long?
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I know exactly what you're going through. I recently got dumped. It's been about a month, but we were together for 8 years. And it was so painful. Basically like withdrawal symptoms. I couldn't eat or sleep either, and all I wanted was not to feel crazy anymore.
The thing that has helped me move on is that I knew I had to move on. Unfortunately, they didn't really give us any other choice, right? So we have to be the bigger people I understand that although it hurts, there is someone better suited for us. Think of all the things that you want that he didn't or couldn't offer you. Obviously, there were things that you loved about him because you still want to be with him, but he's different now and not perfect. Find things that make you happy and get rid of whatever makes you sad, even if you think it's insignificant.
I got rid of all the pictures, cards, scrapbooks, gifts, and songs that reminded me of him and put them somewhere I could run into them. (Kinda like a funeral for our relationship and it provided closure for me.) One day I'll be able to see them and feel OK about it, but until that day comes, it makes me feel better not to see them.
As for doing things that make you happy, there were things that I loved doing that I stopped doing because sometimes you get so caught up in the relationship. We want to make them happy and forget about ourselves. So now you can take an opportunity to either go back and do those things that make you happy or try new things that you always wanted to do. I started taking dance classes, going to the gym, and singing. At first when I tried something new, I just wanted him there, but slowly I've thought about him less and less. Now I'm enjoying my new experiences without him.
And when I want to cry or talk about this, I do. I allow myself to cry and heal. Let it out, cry, and then pick yourself up and smile. Realize that you're not the one that failed at this relationship, he did.
Good luck and remember that this will pass. God bless.
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