How to move on from being dumped?

Was with a guy for over a year and I fell in love with him. Everything seemed wonderful like a fairy tale and at the end he started to distance his self and stop talking to me all together about 2 months ago. I never been dumped and it hurts. I have a hard time at work, I barley sleep, and I just want the pain to stop and move on. I really want closure! I try to keep my self busy and I have been asked out on dates but all I do is think about him. For anyone out there who has been dumped and hurt ...How do you move on?

Also ..what if I see him at the store or with another woman I approach him and ask why he stop talking to me or just keep moving on with no words.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I was dumped by my ex of 4 years. He immediately starting dating and is now onto his 4th or 5th since me. We are 'friends' but on his terms. He isn't the same guy I loved so much and his sole life purpose and attention is solely on his relationships, friends don't matter as does anyone else.

    It has been just over a year now, since he broke from me, and I am still trying to hold on to fading hope we will get back together, but I know its fruitless. What kills me more than anything, is I wish I had not given so much of myself to him. I honestly thought we were life partners and together always.

    I have been asked out and have passed on them. There is a new guy on the scene, and I do like him, but I can completely understand how it all feels for you and all you can think about is your ex.

    Naturally, he must have made some impact on your life to make you feel this way, ( mine did)

    All I can tell you from me who is still going through moving on, is just take each day as it comes, some days are better than others, but I think that time although heals some wounds doesn't heal all. You can never completely forget someone who has been in your life.

    You are doing what you can. The only thing I would totally refrain from is watching movies you watched with him and romantic movies also the same applies to music.

    I wish you all the best and I hope things get better for you soon.

    Chin up :)

    • Yes!!! that is what hurts the most is giving so much of your self to someone, going out of your way to make them happy , putting all your trust in them and you see a future with them. Then one day they decided to take that future away from you out of no where an your sitting there like an dummy trying to figure out what happen.

    • Show All
    • Read your own words . You are friends but on " his terms". Was the relationship he and you had on "his terms". Please correct me if I am wrong. Some men like the control. Broken up or together they "need" to control women in order to feel like a man. My ex tried to control the breakup. Sorry- I read him the riot act and am moving on. Mr Right is out there- you'll see.

    • > I'm still holding on to fading hope

      Don't you know it is futile. Get happy with your own head. Then be happy with others, and nuture them.

      > I wish I had not given so much of myself to him

      Natural. You must keep taking risks if you want the possible rewards from relationships though.

      > time heals some wounds but doesn't heal all

      Used to think this, but eventually it does.

      > You can never completely forget

      Nor should you. One day good memories remain, pain is forgotten.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You have your closure already! he has moved on. What you need to do is tell yourself that you don't need him; HIS LOSS not YOURS!. Listen I know its hard, been there done that, these feelings will go away but it will take time and will make you a stronger person. DO NOT LET YOUR FEELINGS CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS and by that I mean do not call him, text him, e-mail, or "bump into him" what you need to do is heal and let go.

    If you see him at the store with another woman say "Hello", or "Oh hey what's up...blah blah blah, oh that's cool or oh sorry to hear that...Well I got to go, good talking to you again" and leave.

    Do not ask him why he has stoped talking to you and don't act hurt or weird if you bump into him act like he is an old friend.

    I know it sound easier said than done

    • Thank you so much.

    • You made so many good points. I'm just so heart broken and I keep thinking if I see him with or without another lady I will just be so embarrassed how he broke up with me as if I'm nothing and here I am sitting in love, heart broken, and depressed.

  • u really want to avoid being around him altogether. you definently won't move on if yur talking to him or associating yurself with him.

    • Thank you for your comment. I will try my best to distance myself if he contacts me to be friends.

  • I heard this a long time ago: To get over someone, get under someone else. Actually kind of works. lol

    • No words. Why would you make yourself look foolish and desperate and ask those things in front of another woman? If you see him with another woman you should know automatically why he left you. Find you another man ASAP. Don't mope. Move on.

    • Thank you and your right I will not make myself look like an ass in front of another woman.

What Girls Said 2

  • You have to make your own closure. Cry and heal. It will hurt, but not forever. Go out and do what you enjoy. Women tend to make the man the center oftheir world- men do not do that they live a full life and the relationships just enhance their life. Make yourself your number one priority. Do waht makes you feel good and the healing will go faster. Read books on how to have a great relationship, go shopping, hang out with friends, go to concerts, and when you are ready to start dating again you will do that as well. The barely sleeping thing goes away too. You need to focus on being happy alone right now so when the right guy comes along you will not miss him. PS- Every relationship feels like a fairytale up until 10 months than they usually fall apart or get stronger. It is the way we are chemically designed. The brain chemicals change. Only the strongest relationshops survive. You will find someone better when the time is right.

    • Yeah ..I'm trying to stay as busy as possible, but he just stays on my mind. I don't know how I fell for him this hard. That is a good idea to get books on how to have a great relationship.

  • Hi there,

    Well I can SO relate to your situation hun. I have been struggling to get over my ex for months now, and like you, I can't seem to shake him from my mind. We had an intense relationship for such a short time, but he treated me so well. His friends even told me they haven't seen him that happy when we were together. My ex said when we broke up that it was "him, not me". And that I deserve better. I told him I was happy with him and I didn't want anyone else. But now, looking back, he had made a choice, and if I was stronger then, I would have walked away and never looked back. But it felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. I just wanted to be the best girlfriend and make him happy. But when someone isn't FEELING the same way, the only thing we can do is let them go.

    It's been a month since you posted this, I hope you're doing better. NC is the best thing, and staying busy will keep you from thinking about what he's doing and who he's with. That is self torture anyway. I like to remember this Marilyn Monrow quote: "Bad things fall apart so that good things can fall together". =)

    • Thank you for your comment. I was doing much better, but at times things remind me of him and I get really sad and want to run to the phone or email and contact him asap. It is taking everything not to contact him when I get sad and miss him. I keep telling my self I need to respect his space because he no longer wants me, but I feel like I need some type of closure. I hate the unknown of why he moved on. Everything happens for a reason. =/

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